


A Modern Bleak House

by Virginia_Blue



Category: Bleak House - Charles Dickens
Genre: F/F, Foster Care, Homelessness, Modern Era, New York City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-12-20 16:07:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21059432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virginia_Blue/pseuds/Virginia_Blue
Summary: A Bleak House AU set in modern day NYC. Orphans Richard, Ada, Esther, and Jo get sent in very different directions, with life changing (and sometimes shattering) results.





	1. John Jarndyce

Fog. Thick, cloying, billowing, dense fog. The kind that stayed all day, trapped between the skyscrapers, content to obfuscate and swirl. New York was full of fog, so much so that most eyes had adjusted to it by now, and children born into it knew no different. John Jarndyce was a man accustomed to the fog. 

He stood in the fog at his son’s funeral, blinking away tears that somehow weren’t even hot enough to dissipate the thickened air. He could barely make out the letters on his son’s gravestone, could barely see how the two dates, only two years apart from each other, sat deeply etched into the stone.

He waded through the fog months later on his way to the marriage counselor’s office, and months after that to his lawyer’s office, clutching divorce papers in a shaking hand, crying steady tears that splashed on the New York streets, his fleeting mark on the landscape of the great city.

Yes, John Jarndyce was accustomed to the fog, and today was no different. 

“Hello, Mr. Jarndyce,” greeted Ms. Wilkins as Jarndyce came through the door, trailing fog and rain in behind him.

“Please, dear, call me John. You’re making me feel like an old man.”

Ms. Wilkins laughed, “You’re not even thirty yet, John. I think you have a few more years until you need to worry about that.”

Jarndyce made an exaggerated show of stretching and groaning. “With these old bones? We’ll see.”

“Hush, you,” Wilkins playfully swatted his arm as he approached her desk and casually leaned against it. “Not that I don’t appreciate your company for any reason, old man Jarndyce, but what can I do for you today?”

“I heard about the bus crash, and, well, I suppose I was just coming by to see what’s what about that. What I can help with.”

Wilkins wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug and call him the kind, generous man that he was, but knowing his discomfort with gratitude and attention, she restrained herself. “Yeah, real shame that one. I think the death count got up to fifteen.”

Coming around the desk, Wilkins motioned for Jarndyce to follow her. “Yesterday we got four new kids, two from the crash.”

“Poor dears. How are they doing?”

“You know how it is, I don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet. They’re six though, so old enough to retain some of these memories.”

Jarndyce nodded and followed Wilkins around another corner in the maze-like hallway. “What about the other two?”

“Eight year old girl named Esther and approximately four year old boy named Jo. He was a street collect so all we have is a best guess on the age.”

Jarndyce’s fists clenched at the thought of someone abandoning a four year old boy, but as he neared the children he managed to tamp his rage down to a simmer. 

“Here we are,” Wilkins went through a locked door into a big play area that was populated by ten children and one kind faced adult wearing a bright pink “volunteer” badge. 

Some of the children looked up at them in interest, but upon seeing that they were neither their parents, nor toting snacks, they soon returned to their previous activities. A few children were playing with blocks or puppets. Some, like the thin, pretty girl who Jarndyce could only assume was Esther, sat in silence observing the other children. A young boy sat in a chair next to Esther and watched her with a strange expression on his face. 

Wilkins pointed to a corner of the room and whispered in Jarndyce’s ear, “There are our crash victims, Richard and Ada.”

Richard and Ada sat together, working on building a house out of legos. Jarndyce smiled at the scene, but then Richard looked at Jarndyce and his heart skipped a beat. Richard’s eyes were the exact shade of blue that his son’s were, those years ago.

Without even meaning to, Jarndyce took a step toward Richard and Ada’s little corner, but stopped when he caught himself moving. Needing to escape the fog he felt coming in under the door to the room, he turned to Wilkins and said “Let’s go over the accounts.” 

Not waiting for a response, he left the room and made his well worn way to the Home for Every Child Project’s office. The HECP was a small foster care and adoption agency in NYC, and the building Jarndyce was in is where they, working with Social Services, temporarily housed children while finding a home for them. Most children were there for no more than a few days, some as little as a few hours. Wilkins and the rest of the staff did what they could for the children that they could, and hoped it was enough to make some sort of impact. Jarndyce’s philanthropy certainly helped.

Jarndyce and Wilkins spent an hour going over his contributions and the state of the accounts in general, and things were in good shape. Jarndyce gave a few hundred more than usual on that visit, and told himself that he was doing all he could for the children.

But Richard’s eyes and earnest face stayed in his mind all afternoon and night, and he wondered if there wasn't something more he could do. Finally Jarndyce couldn’t take it anymore and called his lawyer and his assistant and set them on the task of informing him whether he could reasonably adopt a child. 

24 hours later, he got a full report from each. 

From his lawyer, the answer was an easy yes. 

Jarndyce was a multi-millionaire and had nothing to worry about by adding another expense to his accounts. Getting approval to adopt was going to be a process, but Jarndyce’s philanthropy, good community standing, rapport with HECP, and substantial wealth should help make that a smoother process than most.

From his assistant, who was honest with him to a fault, the answer was much more complicated. 

She compiled information on everything from local schools to special needs of adopted children to youth sports leagues to pediatricians. Reading through her file, Jarndyce was soon sitting with his head in his hands, lightly tugging at his hair.

He loved children, easily. They were such pure, sweet, innocent beings, and he would defend and protect them to his dying breath. If he were to become a father again, he knew in his heart of hearts that he would devote himself fully to the role and would give his child the best life possible. It wasn’t even a question.

The question was, instead, whether he was ready for that. His assistant’s list reminded him just how involved the process of raising a child is. Their little sponge brains took in everything, and if he was even slightly unsure about whether he could be the father a child needed, he could not in good faith adopt one. Fathering another one himself was out of the question. Not only were things well and truly done with his ex-wife, but after working with HECP and seeing first hand how many children needed homes, he couldn’t very well _not_ adopt.

But, Jarndyce released his hair and picked his head up, for the first time in years he wasn’t feeling doubt about a decision. Scared, nervous, excited? Yes. But doubt? No. At least not about his ability to do a good job. There was a young boy who needed a father, and Jarndyce was determined to give him a damned good one. 

And so, without further ado, he picked up his rucksack and marched out of his apartment toward the HECP building, mind racing the entire way. He called his lawyer and asked him to find a property outside of the city with a yard and access to nature, and to start drafting the papers. He called his assistant and told her to turn her brief report into a comprehensive one, with recommendations in each category. He talked to himself, saying on repeat that he was ready. 

And when he said to Wilkins “I would like to begin the adoption process,” he believed it.


	2. Richard Carstone and Ada Clare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bus crash, a friendship, an adoption.

“Do we have to go?” whined Richard from his place on the living room couch.

His mom sighed, knowing that in four hours he would be asking the same question on the way _back_ from their Broadway expedition. “Yes, sweetie, so go get your shoes on please.”

Richard huffed, but he dutifully trudged over to the shoe rack by the door and plopped down. As he ever so slowly fastened his velcro straps, his mom double checked that the tickets were in her purse. The Carstone family wasn’t rich, but they were frugal enough to allow excursions they saw as important and necessary. Taking their six year old son to see a Broadway show once a month was one such thing. 

“Ready to go, honey?” Richard’s dad came out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his slacks. 

“Just about,” she replied with a pointed nod at young Richard, who was pouting on the floor with one shoe on. 

His dad snorted with suppressed laughter and walked over to his son, scooping him up into a bear hug and placing kisses all over his face.

“Daddy stop!” Richard giggled in his dad’s arms and tried to squirm away. 

“I’ll stop if you finish putting on your shoes,” his dad countered with a few more wet kisses to Richard’s cheeks.

Richard, now smiling despite himself, laughed and said “Okay okay!”

His dad set him down, and with a quick pull on his velcro straps, Richard was ready to go.

“Alright, Carstones. Roll out!” Richard’s mom led the way out of the door and toward the bus stop for their monthly pilgrimage to the city.

\---

“Ada dear, are you ready to go?” A quiet, reserved, and devastatingly beautiful woman poked her head into her daughter’s room and asked.

Ada, who was a spitting image of her mom at just six years old, smiled and hopped up and down on her bed. “Yeah!”

She scrambled off the bed and grabbed her backpack from the floor, struggling to shoulder it given the weight of the ten books inside. Her mom shook her head in laughter and walked over to help Ada with her task. Every two weeks she took Ada to the “fun” library in the city, and with the stack of books Ada exited with you would think she was trying to start her own library.

Together they left their small house in the suburbs and walked towards the bus stop, Ada’s mom taking her backpack from her halfway there in pity of Ada’s clear struggle. 

Unburdened by her load, Ada ran ahead of her mom and claimed them a spot on the bench. When her mom arrived a minute later it was to see Ada chatting good-naturedly with the nearby pigeon. 

“I’m going to get sooooooo many books, Mr. Pigeon.”

_Oorhh! Oorhh!”_

“Yes, Mr. Pigeon, that’s right.”

They carried on like this for quite some time, and when the bus finally pulled up, Ada waved goodbye to Mr. Pigeon and boarded. 

After a few stops, the bus was about halfway full and trundling on toward the city. Ada poked her mom, and when her mom leaned down, she whispered “Mama that boy is looking at me.”

Her mom looked up to see a young boy, probably about Ada’s age, sneaking a peek at Ada around his dad’s shoulder. “It’s okay sweetheart, he’s probably just curious. You don’t have to look at him if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Richard, who was indeed Ada’s mystery boy, snuck another peek and widened his eyes in panic when he saw Ada looking back. Hiding behind his dad for a minute, he hesitantly peeked back out at Ada. She ducked her head and smiled. Apparently Richard took that as encouragement, because he smiled in return and raised his hand to wave at her.

Just then, a loud honk sounded from outside the bus. Being New York, and close to the city, that wasn’t too surprising and nobody gave it a second thought. But then another honk sounded from behind the bus. Then a third, and a fourth. 

Ada’s mom looked up from her book just in time to see a careening truck seconds from impact on the left side of the bus. Pushing Ada further to the right, she only had time to open her mouth before the crunch of metal drowned out any pointless sound of warning she would have made. 

With a lurch, the bus slid across the road, being driven closer to the embankment by the semi. In what was actually a matter of seconds but felt like a million years to everyone on board, the bus hit the edge of the road… and fell.

If you ever asked Ada what she remembered about the crash, she said nothing. She said she was too young and everything happened too quickly.

That wasn’t exactly right, though. 

She remembered the physical sensations: her mom’s hand tight on her wrist, her shoulder painfully impacting the side of the bus, the spinning of her head and dropping of her stomach. She remembered the visuals: the glass flying through the air, the bodies leaving their seats, the roof of the bus getting closer, the panicked blue eyes of the boy a few seats ahead of her. But what she remembered most of all, and what she knew couldn’t possibly be right, was that time stalled. 

The glass wasn’t flying, it was floating, drifting at an agonizingly slow pace into the air. What it was drifting toward she didn’t know then and she doesn’t know now, but in the moment she felt as though she could reach out and catch a piece in her tiny hand. The dents in the ceiling spread like a slow motion video of a paper towel soaking up water. It was a gradual darkening of the metal, so slight that it was barely noticeable.

The eyes of the boy who waved at her just second ago held her own, unmoving. They blinked once, slowly, and then closed. When he closed his eyes, Ada thought it best she do the same. As soon as her top lids met the bottom, time sped up once more and she felt herself whipped to one side. Her mother lost grip on her arm, and that’s the last thing Ada remembers with any clarity.

When Ada finally opened her eyes again, she had no idea how much time had passed. She was laying next to something warm and squishy, and when she looked up she saw the boy from the bus. She poked his face, covered in blood from a gash on his forehead, and he opened his blue eyes. 

Slowly, not saying a word, they sat up and looked around. They were on a grassy hill, and all around them were shards of metal and pieces of glass. Far above them, sounds of sirens and yelling. Right above them, their overturned bus, unmoving.

Not liking what they saw, they looked back at each other instead. 

“Shit! We got kids over here!” sounded from over Richard’s left shoulder after about ten minutes of silence from the children. A cop sprinted toward them, speaking into his radio as he ran. 

“Are you kids hurt?” 

He assessed them briefly, seeing Richard’s bloody face and Ada’s oddly protruding shoulder but no other obvious injuries. An EMT ran down the slope and met the cop, and she checked them over and tagged them green. “Get ‘em up top, we’ll treat them later.” She sprinted back toward the bus.

The cop guided them to the top, doing his best to shield their eyes from the destruction around them. Three hours later, after they had received medical attention, he drove them to the police station. He put them in a small room with some snacks, and tried his best to keep a smile on his face and a calm tone in his voice.

When they were inside the room and away from the noise of the crash, they started to speak. A nice woman came to speak to them, and they told her their names, and their parents’ names, and that they were on a bus. They asked where their parents were, and she smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes before saying that people who were very good at their jobs were looking for them now. 

Ada remembered her wrist slipping from her mom’s hand and knew what that meant. Richard wasn’t so astute. 

When they were told that their parents were dead three hours later, Richard asked when they were going to come pick them up. I’m sorry, Richard, but they’re gone. We’re going to have to find you somewhere else to live now. But I don’t want to live somewhere else, I want my mom. I know, sweetheart, I know. But-- Ada’s hand on his leg stopped his next words and he looked at her, begging her to tell him that this was all some sort of mistake, some sort of joke. 

She just shook her head, and his heart broke into a million pieces. 

They were moved to a nicer building with other children that night and were told by the nice woman that people who were very good at their jobs were trying to find relatives to take them in. Somehow, Richard and Ada had lost faith in people who were very good at their jobs.

They spent a strange week in that new building, being told after two days that no relatives were willing or able to take them in. A lot of adult talk happened, but they just sat together in silence as it swirled into a fog around them. 

“Ward of the state,” “case worker,” “money,” “foster,” “adoption,” it was a never-ending torrent of confusion, and early on they gave up on trying to understand. 

All Richard knew was that one day he woke up and Ada was gone, and his heart, which she had just started to glue back together, was torn asunder once more, and he finally cried. He bawled and bawled until he was sitting in a puddle of tears and snot. He called for his Mommy, his Daddy, his friend Ada. 

Everyone told him that it was okay, that he was going to be okay, and he just wanted to shout at them. He was alone, and he was always going to be alone. Nothing about that was “okay.”

The next day, Richard was taken to an apartment in the city with smiling strangers inside. He stayed there a week, and after his tears didn’t slow down, after they filled up the small apartment and the nice people could barely keep their noses above the water line, someone named “case worker” opened the door and took him and the ocean of tears out of the apartment.

This went on for months, and nobody saw any signs of stopping. Finally, when he was taken out to a really fancy house in the countryside about an hour from the city, someone asked him what was wrong. 

Startled, Richard focused on this new stranger for the first time. A fairly young, well-dressed man, he was sitting on the ground in front of Richard. Richard looked down at him, which was another strange thing, having become used to being towered over lately, and wiped at his snotty nose.

“What’s wrong, Richard?”

Richard sniffled some more and stood in silence for a few long beats. So many things were wrong that he didn’t even know where to start. His mom and dad were gone, he kept getting put with strange people in strange places, his clothes were always in a trash bag… but his mind went back to the one thing that broke his already fragile heart. 

He wiped his nose one last time, looked the man in the eye, and said “They took Ada.”

John Jarndyce remembered Ada from the day at HECP, and as he looked into Richard’s heartbroken face, he knew what he had to do.

The house was big enough, and Mr. Jarndyce different enough, that Richard’s tears didn’t drown everyone inside. Adult talk still swirled around him, and Mr. Jarndyce kept yelling into the phone and talking about things like “money” and “adoption” and saying things like “how much do you want?” and “I don’t care, do it now” and Richard was really very confused. 

So he cried some more.

And then, a few weeks after he arrived at Mr. Jarndyce’s strange house, the front door opened and Ada walked in with her trash bag dragging behind her. Their eyes met again, and they both gasped and sprinted toward the other. 

Mr. Jarndyce and the woman who brought Ada in said some more adult stuff, and when the woman left, the last of Richard’s tears washed out with her.


	3. Jo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo, like Richard and Ada, leaves HECP and enters into the system.

To be Jo was to be nothing. Or at least, if that offends our sensibilities, then to be Jo was to know nothing. He did not know how he wound up on the street, or how long he was there for, or even how the police came to take possession of him. No, he knew nothing. 

Jo’s first memory, and arguably his best, is of the pale white hands of a lady. He was in what he later in life would be reminded was a police station, and a girl about twice his age touched his arm. He remembered her pale white hand against his tanned skin, remembered how she touched him gently. She wiped dirt from his face and sat him on her lap. 

Jo didn’t know how he got there or who the lady was, and it would be another year or two before he developed any further solid memories of his life. He remembered her hands though, the first hands to ever touch him in love and kindness. He always remembered her hands.

Esther didn’t think twice about caring for the young boy who was with her in the police station that day. Her zealously Christian aunt had some problematic views and did her best to teach them to Esther, often through harsh words and withheld food, but in the end, due perhaps to Esther’s purity of character, some of the only views that sunk in were to love her neighbor and to be kind to all.

She held him, cleaned his face of dirt, and spoke kind words to him. He didn’t react to any of her words, and she wasn’t altogether sure he heard them, but he did react to her touch. At first it was to flinch away, and then to warily allow, and finally to accept. When they were separated later at the HECP building, Esther gave him a kiss and hoped for the best. 

He didn’t get the best.

The first family he was placed in was perhaps best described as neglectful. He walked into the house on a Tuesday, and when he left twelve Tuesdays after that, nobody noticed his going. Jo may have been four, but he was a resourceful four. Not smart, in the conventional sense or in his own mind, but he had a knack for surviving. A knack that grew all the more pronounced in environments where any other child would have withered.

In this first house he laid low. He got food in the middle of the night on days when they forgot to feed him, which was often. He learned what gestures and facial expressions meant trouble, and where to hide when they occurred. He learned that when he stepped in certain places or bumped into certain things people knew he was there, and so began to avoid those. 

Jo learned to survive.

One day, after he had spent a week without any human interaction, Jo decided to leave. He wasn’t really sure why he did it, but nothing was holding him where he was and the door called to him. So he walked out of it. A week later he was picked up by a cop, and an investigation was launched into his previous placement. 

When Jo wouldn’t speak or answer any questions, nothing could be definitively proven about his first foster family. When they said he had only been gone for a day, after he had been with the state for two days, the suspicions were high enough to give him a new placement. 

“Hi there, Jo. We’re John and Nancy, your new foster parents.”

There were suddenly smiling, nodding people in front of him, and Jo didn’t know what to do.

“Come on in, we’ll show you to your room.” 

Jo followed the people who beckoned him forward, and entered into the best home he ever had. For the next week he was fed regularly, read to every night, and given new clothes. There were other children in the house, and while they left Jo alone mostly while they got used to him, they were all clearly happy and healthy kids. 

“Jo, wake up” Nancy called from the door of Jo’s room. When he didn’t move, she called louder. “Jo, sweetheart. Time to get up.” Perplexed, she tried one more time. “Jo!” When he still didn’t move, she rushed forward, fearing the worst, but as soon as she laid her hand upon his shoulder and shook, his eyes flew open in alarm before relaxing when he saw her.

“John, I think Jo might be deaf” Nancy confided in her husband that night.

“Really?” John would be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, but a lot of new foster kids had selective hearing and mute qualities, especially until they grew comfortable in a home. 

“Yeah. I’m going to make an appointment for him.”

“Okay honey,” John replied easily. It was probably nothing.

“Jo is 80% deaf in his left ear and 100% in his right” the doctor spoke with professional compassion.

“Is there anything that can be done?” John, ever the pragmatist, asked.

“It’s hard to tell, but based on the test results I suspect a childhood, maybe even infant, infection that was left untreated. We’ll do a few more tests, but with most of these cases the hearing loss is irreversible.” The doctor let them sit with the news for a few beats before continuing. 

“I know this isn’t ideal, but many deaf people live full and happy lives, especially when it happens this young and they never know any different. He’ll need extra tests and regular check-ups, and some individualized counseling and education, and it’s always helpful if other people in the house use sign language, but nothing is insurmountable.”

Nancy’s brow furrowed in worry. “Wait what all does he need?”

Nancy and John left that meeting with a stack of papers. Pamphlets, printouts, business cards, test results. That night they sat down and started going through it all. The next night they did the same. The other children in the house heard them up half the night arguing, and Jo wasn’t sure why they suddenly started giving him strange looks.

After about a week of that, Jo saw a now familiar silver sedan pull up outside of the house. He didn’t hear Nancy’s choked out “We’re sorry, Jo” or John’s quiet “it’s for the best,” or his even quieter “we didn’t sign up for a special needs kid” to his social worker, but he felt them. He felt the meaning of the words, and as he walked out into that foggy street, he knew that he was unwanted and worthless.

And so, as Jo got into the silver car and drove off into the distance, gradually fading from view, he fully entered anonymity. He was a ward of the state, an unwanted and unknown factor in the great, indistinguishable city of New York. The car was encased with fog, and Jo closed his eyes, allowing it to swirl around him. He took a deep breath and it suffused every part of him, shaggy hair to small toes. And finally, when they arrived back at the HECP and exited the car, even his social worker didn't see him any more.


	4. Esther Summerson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Esther.

“Esther Rebecca Summerson!” 

The voice, somehow both shrill and booming, woke Esther from her sleep in an instant. Her guardian was standing at the foot of her bed with her hands on her hips, frowning deeply with a look of disappointment and anger.

“It is seven oh five, what on earth are you still doing in bed? You have exactly five minutes to be downstairs.” With that she turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door on her way out. Esther listened as she departed, hearing the trailing voice “Lazy, insolent, insufferable, damned child…” 

Esther knew she should have been up by then, but after staying up late for her guardian’s Friday night Bible study, she succumbed to laziness and hit snooze on her alarm. She didn’t know what she was thinking though, and she quickly scrambled out of bed to get ready for her typical Saturday.

Every week in her guardian’s home was the same. Sleep a little, eat a little, pray a lot.

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday:  
0630-0700: morning prayers  
0700-0730: hygiene, make breakfast for herself and her guardian, eat breakfast  
0800-1500: school  
1530-1630: afternoon prayers  
1630-1730: housework  
1730-1830: prepare dinner  
1830-1900: eat dinner  
1900-2100: homework  
2100-2200: evening prayers  
2215: bed

Wednesday:  
Same as above until dinner  
1830-1900: eat dinner  
1900-2200: evening prayer service, hosted at guardian’s house  
2215: bed

Friday:  
Same as Wednesday, except  
1900-2100: church  
2130-2330: post-church Bible study, hosted at her guardian’s house

Saturday:  
0700-0800: morning prayers  
0800-1200: housework  
1200-1300: lunch  
1300-1600: yard work  
1600-1800: afternoon study and meditation  
1800-1830: dinner  
1830-1930: Esther’s free time (her guardian, if feeling generous, may extend to 2000)  
1930-2200: evening prayer  
2215: bed

Sunday:  
0630-0700: wake up, hygiene, breakfast  
0730-1200: church  
1300-1500: youth Bible study  
1530-1700: afternoon church service  
1730-1830: dinner  
1830-2030: Esther’s free time  
2030-2130: homework  
2130-2200: evening prayer  
2215: bed

Esther’s life had been on this regimented schedule for as long as she could remember, so she knew neither to love nor resent it. She had a guardian who took her in when she did not have to, provided for all of her physical needs, and gave her a wonderful education. 

On this particular Saturday, Esther scrambled out of bed, made her bed in quick, practiced tugs, pulled on a modest outfit, and ran down stairs. 

Thin lips pulled in disapproval, her guardian directed her to sit down and handed her a Bible. “Pray.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

It was while Esther was studying and praying that she heard a clatter from the other room. At first she ignored it, knowing full well that she would not get food that day if her guardian saw her being insincere about prayers. 

A few disjointed keys struck on the piano was too worrying not to investigate though, and so Esther rose smoothly and glided to the living room door. There, sitting on the floor and leaning against the piano bench, sat her guardian.

“Ma’am!” Esther rushed to her side and fell to her knees. “What happened?”

Her guardian looked up at Esther with an expression Esther had never seen on her face before, and it scared Esther deeply. It was a strange mixture of fear and what Esther could only describe as affection, but as she had never seen it on her guardian before she wasn’t totally sure.

“Esther, dear child.” Her guardian reached out her hand weakly and placed it on Esther’s own. It was cold and wracked with small tremors. 

“Guardian, what’s wrong?”

Her guardian seemed to have difficulty focusing on Esther. “Esther, my dear niece, I’m afraid the Lord is calling me to Him.”

“What? No! I’ll call 911 hang on,” Esther’s movement to run away was halted as her guardian gripped onto her arm with the unbreakable strength of a dying woman. 

“No. No, let me go. My heart has always been weak, my dear girl, it was only a matter of time.” Her breath was coming out in small pants now, and Esther had to lean in close to decipher what she was saying.

Esther was crying now, tears coming unbidden and pooling on the carpet between them. She tried again to pull away, but the death grip on her arm would not ease. “Please, ma’am, let me help. Can I help?” Her last words broke with utter helplessness, and the dying woman nodded slightly. 

Esther leaned closer to listen. “Your mother… was my sister. She is gone, your father is gone, we are all gone. You, who are our great shame, are now our only legacy.” She stopped and her eyes closed for a moment before snapping back open in a panic. “Live as a godly woman, Esther Summerson. Remember what I taught you.”

Her eyes closed again and Esther almost believed she had simply fallen asleep, the look about her was so peaceful. But the slackening grip and fingers sliding off of her arm let her know the truth. Her aunt was dead. Her aunt, who she had only known as such for a few minutes of her life, was dead. The only family she had in the world, dead.

Looking closely at her aunt’s face, Esther now saw a resemblance between them she never had before. The high, regal cheekbones, the wave of the hair, even the fullness of the lips. That was her aunt. Wait, that was her aunt!

Esther, remembering herself, stood up and sprinted to the phone in the kitchen, immediately dialing 911.

Twenty minutes later, after the 911 operator talked Esther through several rounds of CPR, the EMTs arrived on the scene, and the paramedic pronounced her aunt dead, Esther noticed that she hadn’t stopped crying once and thought to herself, _Really, Esther, pull yourself together._

Through a great force of will, she ceased her flow of tears and took in the scene around her. The police officers and EMTs all walked around and worked in a calm, practised manner. In the far corner, a young police officer was talking to a slightly older woman and gesturing in Esther’s direction. After noticing Esther’s eyes on them, the two women approached Esther.

“Hi. Esther, right?”

Esther nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Nice to meet you Esther. I’m Officer Santiago, and this is Ms. Hawthorne. We’re going to take you to the police station with us while we figure everything out. Is that alright?”

Esther gave another polite nod and wiped the tears off of her cheeks. “Yes, ma’am.”

At the police station Esther is given food and water, a blanket, and then questioned by Santiago and Hawthorne. Proud of herself, Esther only has to stop to wipe away tears once during the questioning.

“What do you mean she never told you she was your aunt?”

Esther shrugged before internally kicking herself for the careless and rude gesture, as her aunt had termed it. “I never knew. She never told me until… until the end.”

“What did she say your relation was? What did you call her?”

“Ma’am, or Guardian.”

“Esther…” Ms. Hawthorne said delicately, “what was your home like?”

“It’s a very nice house. Difficult to clean sometimes, sure, but very nice.” Esther misunderstood the intention of Ms. Hawthorne’s question, but unintentionally gave her a hint.

“Did you clean often?”

Esther nodded. 

“How often?” Officer Santiago chimed in this time.

“One hour Monday through Friday between afternoon prayers and making dinner, seven hours on Saturday, four of housework and three of yard work.”

Ms. Hawthorne and Officer Santiago exchanged a look Esther didn’t understand, but she knew they were smarter than her and must have some reason for their questions.

“Esther, did you ever have toys?”

Esther turned her nose up in distaste. “No! Guardian said toys are wastes of time and energy and take you away from God’s message.”

“I see.” Ms. Hawthorne made a few notes on her notepad.

“Okay, Esther, that’s all for now. Thank you for being patient in this trying time. We’ll let you know as soon as we know where you’ll be going.”

The two women walked away, leaving Esther sitting alone in a room. The door was open and the light was on though, and someone came in to check on her a few times an hour. After about two hours in the room, an officer brought a young boy in.

“Esther, this is Jo. Can you say hi, Jo?” 

Jo didn’t acknowledge the officer at all, and leaned away from his touch when he tried to nudge him forward. 

“Do you mind if Jo spends some time in here with you?”

“Of course not!” Esther was confused why she would ever mind something like that. 

For the rest of that day, Esther cared for the strange little boy who was with her in that strange little room. When they got in the car, she held his hand the entire way. When they arrived at the HECP she stayed by his side. He never spoke to her, and ignored everything she said, but she could tell he was sweet. The way he looked at her, full of wonder, was so innocent and so like he had never felt a loving touch before that Esther nearly cried many times.

The next morning, Esther was led to a separate room where two women waited for her with small smiles. Esther, listening politely, learned that they were her new foster parents and were going to do everything they could to make this difficult time easier for her.

“Do you have husbands?” Esther’s confusion was genuine, and one of the women smiled at her.

“No, Esther. We’re married to each other.”

Esther’s confusion grew. “But… isn’t marriage a holy covenant between man and woman?”

“Who taught you that?” The woman stayed calm and kind.

“My… my aunt.”

The woman smiled sadly and looked back at her wife. “How about we head back home and we can answer all of the questions you have?”

“Okay.” Esther was given a trash bag with most of her clothes from home in it, and one of the women picked it up and carried it to the car for her.

\---

The next month was an absolute mindblower for Esther. Her foster parents were lesbians, a term they had to define for her, and Jewish, a religion they had to combat many misconceptions of for her. To Esther’s credit she remained open-minded and kind, but she was learning so much so fast that it was difficult to keep up.

On top of that, there were drastic lifestyle changes she had to adjust to. The first being her abundance of free time. The first morning she woke up in the house, she naturally woke up at 0630 and began her usual routine. The only Bible she could find was a Tanakh, but she read it for thirty minutes nonetheless and was relieved that it was mostly familiar.

She then conducted hygiene and began preparing breakfast. When one of her foster moms, Ms. Badik, came down stairs to the smell of eggs and toast, she was alarmed. 

“Esther, what are you doing? You could get burned!” She rushed over to Esther but stopped as the eight year old flipped an omelet onto a plate with practiced ease.

“Don’t worry, Ms. Badik, I haven’t burned myself cooking since I was six.” Esther continued on plating eggs and began pouring orange juice like nothing was amiss. 

“You’ve been cooking since you were six?”

“Of course. My Guard-- my aunt was kind enough to let me live in her home. Cooking and cleaning were ways of saying thank you. Not enough, but a start.”

Ms. Badik didn’t know what to say in response, and decided to wait to talk to her wife before making any major decisions. Ms. Schultz came down the stairs a few minutes later, equally as confused. 

“Good morning, Ms. Schultz” Esther said from her spot at the table, which she was setting.

“... Remember, you can call me Jen if you prefer.” 

“No thank you, Ms. Schultz. I’m not really comfortable with that disrespect toward you.”

Ms. Schultz leaned over to Ms. Badik and whispered “ Did you know she was going to do this?”

Ms. Badik shook her head.

“We need to talk.”

Ms. Badik nodded in agreement before walking over to help Esther finish the preparations. They all sat down to a nice meal, and afterward Esther moved to wash the dishes.

“No, dear, let me.”

“I…” Esther opened her mouth to protest, but Ms. Badik’s gaze left no room for argument, and she nodded her assent.

Looking around and feeling awkward in the new house and unsure what to do, she decided to continue with her normal summer schedule. She went upstairs to the bathroom, found cleaning supplies under the sink, and began to clean. Ms. Schultz found her a half hour later and frowned deeply at the sight of Esther scrubbing the toilet.

“Esther, put all of that away and come downstairs.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Esther quietly acquiesced and put away her supplies, thinking they wanted her to clean something downstairs instead. Every house was bound to be different, right? Isn’t that what Ms. Hawthorne warned her about? She could adapt to cleaning the kitchen first if that’s how this family did it.

Once they were all seated in the living room, Esther grew more confused.

“Esther, you don’t need to scrub toilets here.”

“Oh. Should I have started with the kitchen instead?” Esther was worried about upsetting the two women, and it showed on her face. “I’m sorry, I can do it how you do it.”

“No, Esther, you don’t understand.” Ms. Badik leaned in and put her elbows on her knees. “You don’t need to clean here. You don’t need to cook. We might ask you to help tidy up every now and then, but you’re not a housekeeper.”

“Exactly. Esther, we don’t know what your aunt was like, but when you’re here we want you to feel safe. You can act like a kid. We can go shopping, get you some books, some toys.”

Esther flinched at that and looked around in a panic. “I-- I can’t play with toys, they’re distractions from God.”

“It would mean a lot to us if you would try, Esther. You deserve to be a child.”

“I can’t, I don’t know, I can’t” Esther started and stopped her sentence before gaining traction. “I can’t clean or cook at all? What am I supposed to do? I don’t know what to do.”

Sensing how deeply upset Esther was, Ms. Schultz winced in realization that they may have come onto this too strongly. “What did you do with your free time before? What did you do for fun?”

That just made Esther more confused. “I had an hour on Saturday and two hours on Sunday. I would usually use it to clean my room, maybe do some homework.”

Ms. Schultz reached out and gripped her wife’s hand. 

“Esther, did you have an actual schedule to follow?”

Esther nodded in confusion. Obviously she did, didn’t everyone?

“Can you write it out for us?” 

Sagging in visible relief that they were going to follow her schedule, Esther obediently said “Yes, ma’am.”

Ten minutes later, the women sat looking at the schedule in dual horror. Realizing that they needed to have a non-Esther conversation, Ms. Badik schooled her face and looked at Esther with a smile.

“We need to go over this and it might take a while. How about for now you go unpack and organize your room? If you get done before we’re done, go ahead and finish cleaning the bathroom.”

Ms. Schultz looked at her wife with clear displeasure, but Esther nodded in eager agreement and went upstairs.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Ms. Schultz turned angrily to her wife. “Why did you tell her to clean the bathroom? She isn’t our servant!”

“Babe, I know. She’s clearly lost right now and needs something familiar though. This,” she waved the paper with Esther’s old schedule, “was her life for eight years. We can’t just take it all away and leave her with no purpose.”

“She deserves to be a kid!”

“You think I don’t know that?” 

“Then why are you going along with this?” Ms. Schultz whispered angrily.

“Because she doesn’t know how to be a kid.” Ms. Badik sighed heavily. “We need to call her social worker and see if she has any ideas.”

“What kind of ideas?”

“I don’t really know. How to ease her into this? Children’s groups she can go to? A therapist maybe?”

Ms. Schultz sighed and leaned back against her wife. “I’ll call rabbi too. He might have some ideas.”

“Good idea.”

Both women sighed at the same time and laughed as a result. 

“This isn’t going to be easy.”

\---

One month later, their prediction proved correct. Still, a lot of good progress had been made.

Instead of forced prayer, which Esther finally confessed that she didn’t like, she was allowed to sleep or read something else during the time. Eventually they planned to make it all free time, but for now her therapist saw this as a good intermediary step. When she slept past 0730 the first time, Schultz and Badik gave each other a high five. 

Instead of her aunt’s old worn Bible, which she no longer had, Esther started reading a lot of books on Judaism since that’s all they had on religions. She felt that she had to stick to religious studies during prayer time (something else her foster moms were working on), but thought that learning more couldn’t hurt.

They instituted movie night every Saturday, which were the first movies Esther had ever seen, and group cleaning every Sunday morning, to make it a group affair.

A little over two months into this home placement, Ms. Hawthorne, Esther’s social worker, came by for a visit. She visited every two weeks, but this time was different, as she had a folder of papers in her hand.

“Hi Esther, nice to see you again.”

“Hello, Ms. Hawthorne.” Esther nodded in polite greeting. 

“Can we all sit down? I have an opportunity for Esther that I would like to discuss with you.”

Once seated at the dining room table, Ms. Hawthorne laid out her papers, which were for Chesney Academy. Chesney Academy was a premier private school a couple of hours north of the city. It was a college preparatory school with top notch sports teams, the leading arts program in the nation, and several STEM clubs that regularly had good showings at state and national competitions. 

More than that, as Ms. Hawthorne explained, it was often described as strict but fair. They wore uniforms and had scheduled days, but were also allowed time to pursue their own interests either in recreational time or student groups. There were about 800 students, approximately 100 per grade level (5th-12th). 5th-8th grade lived on one side of campus, and 9th-12th lived on the other. There were great mentorship programs between the upper and lower schools.

But, more than all of these statistics and facts, Ms. Hawthorne thought it would be a perfect fit for Esther. It would allow her a chance to exist in a slightly regimented environment while still getting the interaction with other children that she never had. On breaks she could even stay at school, or, as Ms. Hawthorne caught Ms. Badik and Ms. Schultz looking at each other sadly, she could return to their home.

This all sounded great, of course, but money was an issue. While they weren’t poor, they certainly weren’t rich, and they knew that New York private schools cost an arm and a leg.

Tuition for Chesney Academy was $28,000 per year, but, Ms. Hawthorne quickly continued as the women looked incredulous, the HECP has a scholarship fund to send one child every year. Esther would have to apply for the scholarship and for Chesney Academy, and if she was accepted to each, then she would start in 5th grade after this summer was over. The scholarship was unconditional through 12th grade, and after 12th grade there were options for some internship and college opportunities.

“I know it’s a lot to consider, so I’ll leave these and give you a few days to discuss it and think it over. But remember, Esther,” Esther looked up at Ms. Hawthorne, “this is entirely your decision. I don’t think your foster moms would try to… unduly influence you, as it were, but you still need to decide whether this is something _you_ want.”

Was it something she wanted? How was she even supposed to know what she wanted? Esther expressed these concerns to Ms. Badik and Ms. Schultz that night.

Ms. Schultz responded first. “Esther, I’m going to tell you the best piece of advice my abba ever gave me. I was struggling to figure out what to study in college, and he simply said ‘go figure it out.’”

“Sometimes all you need is the courage to start, and the faith to believe that you’ll figure it out as you go. Maybe you’ll figure it out after a week there, and maybe you’ll be like me and figure it out after you’ve already been in college for two years. It’s okay not to know.”

Esther nodded, but still looked uncertain. “But what if I’m scared? What if they don’t like me or think I’m too weird?”

Now Ms. Badik jumped in. “Do you know the story of your namesake?”

“Um, kind of. She saved people from an evil man, but she was part of an immoral harem and stuff.”

Ms. Badik sighed. “That may be the interpretation you’ve been exposed to, but Jews actually praise Esther. We have a festival every year where we dress up, party, and celebrate what she did.”

“Really?”

“Yep. She was a woman in a strange land who had to adapt, she faced down death in order to stand up to the king, and she fought against the evil Haman to save the lives of all of the Jewish people in Persia.”

She could see Esther’s shock and smiled at it. “I bring her up because she went to a strange place with strange people and simply did her best. She stood against the status quo when she could and tried to better her situation when she couldn’t, and in the end she was widely celebrated because of it.”

Ms. Schultz kissed Esther’s head and her and Ms. Badik stood up to leave.

“We’ll help you with whatever you decide, Esther. Now get some sleep.”

Two days later, Esther told her foster moms that she wanted to apply.

Two days after that, she had recommendation letters in hand from Ms. Hawthorne, her foster moms, and Officer Santiago.

Two weeks later, she was notified of her acceptance for the scholarship.

One week after that, she received her acceptance letter to Chesney Academy.

And, just over three months after she had first arrived in their home, Ms. Badik and Ms. Schultz drove Esther to Chesney Academy to start 5th grade.

Esther walked through the front doors of the school thinking about her aunt’s dying words, and she promised herself that she would work her hardest to overcome the shame of her birth.


	5. Abercrombie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada and Richard grow up, and, big surprise, Richard is problematic.

Mr. Jarndyce jolted upright in bed, head swiveling, looking for the unknown cause of his waking. After the initial shock wore off, his tired mind honed in on the cause. Richard was screaming from his room down the hall. 

Rubbing his eyes, Jarndyce got out of bed, put on his slippers, and made his way toward Richard’s room. It was, unfortunately, a routine he knew well.

Richard had nightmares a few nights a week. He was working with a therapist and Jarndyce was doing everything he could to be a good parent and provide for everything Richard could need, but it was going to take time. 

Jarndyce walked into Richard’s room and saw him curled up on his bed, twitching and shivering from the force of his nightmare. It broke Jarndyce’s heart every time he saw Richard in this kind of pain. Seeing him or Ada in any kind of pain was bad, but the mental variety was particularly agonizing. Richard went to a place Jarndyce couldn’t follow, saw things Jarndyce couldn’t see, and felt things Jarndyce couldn’t feel. As a parent, it was really difficult. 

But the therapist told him to be patient, and to provide a strong and solid base for Richard to grow accustomed to standing on. He would move through his trauma and loss at his own pace, and it might be slower than Jarndyce wanted, but it would happen. 

He walked over to Richard’s bed and sat on the opposite side from him. “Richard, buddy, wake up.” Gently rocking Richard’s shoulder, Jarndyce tried to rouse him.

“It’s okay, it’s just a nightmare. Come on, wake up.”

Richard reached out toward Jarndyce, and his sounds of heavy breathing morphed into sounds of crying as he woke up.

Jarndyce pulled Richard’s head into his lap and lay stroking his hair. “That’s it, buddy. You’re okay. You’re safe here.”

While they lay like that, Jarndyce spotted another small human peeking into the room from the doorway and smiled. This wasn’t the first time that Ada had come to join their mid-night comfort sessions, and he was always glad for it. She needed to heal just as much as Richard did, and he was glad that they had each other.

“Richard, can Ada come in?”

Instead of speaking, Richard nodded his assent.

“Come in, Ada. Here,” Jarndyce patted the bed next to him and Richard, “hop up.”

Ada clambered up onto the bed and soon laid down with her back against Richard and her head also on Jarndyce’s lap. Richard calmed perceptibly from the contact, and some of Ada’s tension left her body. Jarndyce put a hand on each child and closed his eyes, offering whatever small comfort his presence could. 

\---

“Very good, Mr. Carstone!”

Mrs. Stein, the piano instructor Jarndyce hired for lessons, beamed at Richard from her spot next to him on the bench.

Eight year old Richard had been learning the piano for the better part of a year and had just started moving toward some more advanced pieces. He had just successfully played a new piece he had been working on for a few weeks, and Mrs. Stein’s praise made him bounce up and down in excitement. Her praise wasn’t always easy to come by.

“Can I show Mr. Jarndyce?”

Mrs. Stein glanced at her watch and saw that they had 10 minutes left in their session. “Of course. Invite him in here to show him what you’ve learned.”

Richard jetted off of the bench and ran down the hall toward where he thought Mr. Jarndyce might be. When he returned a minute later tugging on the hand of Jarndyce, who was moving much too slowly for his taste.

Laughing, Jarndyce took a seat in an armchair and gestured for Richard to begin. “Take it away, dear boy.”

Later that day when Ada got back from her flute practice, Richard played it for her too. 

Her own excitement rising with Richard’s, Ada asked “Do you want to hear what I’m working on?”

Richard did not exhibit the excitement she wanted. Instead, he shrugged and turned back to the piano. “Yeah maybe after. The piano is cooler though and I want to figure this next part out first.”

\---

Ada was a kind-hearted, loving, loyal, and amazing person to have in your life. Richard knew this well. She had been helping him for as long as he could remember; she helped calm him down from nightmares, talked to him about their pasts and parents, and even helped him change his sheets the few times he wet the bed and was too embarrassed to tell Mr. Jarndyce. She was absolutely perfect, and that’s why he was livid when she was getting picked on by other girls in their school.

They both attended a private elementary school and were now in 5th grade. The school was nice, and the education was good, but the amount of class and family elitism was tough for young kids to navigate.

“Jarndyce isn’t even your real dad, he just felt sorry for you” spat a girl named Elizabeth in Ada’s direction.

“He’s not my dad, but he adopted me and loves me.” Ada tried to speak truthfully and rationally, but every time Elizabeth and her band attacked her along this thread of insults, a seed of doubt was planted in her mind. 

Because she _was_ adopted by Mr. Jarndyce. Her “real” parents _were_ dead. She _was_ from a poorer family and wouldn’t have gone to that school without Jarndyce. She _was_ adopted after Richard. As much as she wanted to feel like she belonged in Jarndyce’s house and he loved her unconditionally, part of her was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

She had talked about this to Richard before, so he knew where her mind was going as her eyes welled up with tears. 

“No he doesn’t. My mom told me that he just likes to take in charity cases and that when your real mom died you became another of his little cases.”

Ada remained silent, hoping Elizabeth would move to another target. Richard started marching his way over from the other side of the classroom.

“She said he adopted Richard to replace his dead son, and that he just felt bad for you. You weren’t even his first choice. She said--”

“Take that back!” Richard stood next to Ada, about five feet from Elizabeth, and spoke forcefully.

Elizabeth turned her nose up at his challenge. “No! It’s the truth.”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“It is too!” Elizabeth spoke louder to drown out Richard’s expected response. “It is too and you know it. She’s just a spare that nobody wanted, like the dog that Sidney’s parents found in the alley--”

This time, her words were cut off by Richard’s punch.

\---

“Why aren’t you doing band this year, Richard? I thought the 7th and 8th grade band at your school was really good.” Jarndyce was looking over Richard and Ada’s 7th grade schedules and was surprised to see that Richard opted out of band, given his clear love of music and how much he thrived in 6th grade band.

Richard shrugged his shoulders and didn’t even look up at Jarndyce. “I just don’t want to.”

“It’s because his friends,” Ada put a disapproving emphasis on the word, “don’t think it’s cool.”

“Shut up, Ada!”

“Hey! Don’t speak to her that way. Apologize.”

When Richard sat in silence for several long seconds, Jarndyce raised an eyebrow. “Now.”

“Fine. Sorry.”

Not great, but also not what Jarndyce wanted to get into right now.

“Is that true though, Richard? Is band not cool enough for you now?”

“I just don’t want to do it, okay? I want to play football.”

Ada sat with her arms folded tight across her chest and her lips pressed into a thin line. She knew that the only reason he was switching to football is because Richard’s new middle school friends all played football. She knew Richard wasn’t mean like them, but they were bullies and she didn’t want Richard getting in trouble by proximity, or worse, getting picked on by them too.

“Oh yeah? I played football back in my day, did I ever tell you that?” Jarndyce was still unsure about the whole thing, but he mostly believed in letting children explore their own interests, and not shaming or prohibiting any of those interests. If Richard said he wanted to play football, he was going to let him.

\---

“What the hell, Richard? Why did you do that?” Ada came into Richard’s room like a whirlwind.

Now fourteen year old Richard lounged in bed in his Abercrombie sweatpants and looked disinterestedly at Ada’s entrance. “Do what?”

“You know what.” Ada stopped halfway to his bed and put her hands on her hips. 

“No, I don’t. Make sense or get out of my room.” He still hadn’t moved an inch or given any indication beyond perhaps a mild amusement.

“You let your friends,” still with a particularly nasty emphasis on the word, “make fun of Nick.”

“Oh, you’re upset about that?”

“Yeah, I am. Nick is a really good guy. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“What, do you like him or something?” Now Richard moved for the first time, sitting up straighter and turning his body to face Ada.

“What? No,” she sputtered, and Richard relaxed back into the bed. “He’s just a good person.”

“He’s a band nerd, Ada. Football players make fun of band nerds, that’s how it goes. It’s like an unwritten rule or something. And besides, it’s fun for everyone. He doesn’t even take it seriously.”

Ada, who had consoled a crying Nick just a few hours before, knew differently. “Yeah, he does. And so do I. Oh, and on top of that, you used to be one of those band nerds. Remember?”

Purposefully ignoring her calling him a band nerd, Richard argued back. “The guys didn’t even do anything bad to him, I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“You took his trombone and put it on top of the lockers.”

Richard started laughing, but stopped when Ada glanced at him sharply. “Look, we just thought it would be harmless fun to make him try to jump for it since he’s so short. I would’ve gotten it down in a few minutes if Mr. Johnson didn’t get it first.”

“It was mean, Richard. You need to apologize to him.”

Ada turned on her heel and walked out of the room after that, fuming and committed to giving Richard the silent treatment for at least a day or two. That was the intention, anyway. The reality was that she was back in his room just a handful of hours later.

She had been returning from the bathroom in the middle of the night and heard a sound she hadn’t heard in almost a year-- Richard crying. She walked into his room quietly and saw him curled up on his bed, shaking and crying with a nightmare. 

Rushing over, her heart pained to see Richard that way, knowing he always had a harder time adjusting than she did. She sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard. Resting a small hand on Richard’s shoulder, she shook him awake. 

“Richard, it’s Ada. You’re safe, it’s okay.” She wasn’t sure if he was awake yet, so she tried to remember what Jarndyce used to say. “It’s okay, buddy. You’re okay. You’re safe here. Relax.”

Richard calmed down and rolled over so his head was on Ada’s lap, and she ran her fingers through his hair just like Jarndyce did. All of her anger from earlier vanished as she took in this version of Richard. 

He had a tough past and dealt with his trauma in different ways than she did, and she struggled in that moment, with Richard’s tears dripping down onto her leg, to blame him for his behavior. He was just trying to fit in with his friends, and he probably didn’t realize that Nick was going to take it poorly. 

Richard was still the little Richard who defended her from elementary school bullies and played hot cross buns with her on the piano. He was a good guy.

\---

“Ada, wake up!” Jarndyce entered his 16 year old daughter’s room and shook her awake suddenly. As she blinked her eyes in confusion, and then worry, he moved to flip on her lights.

“Get dressed, we need to go to the hospital. They just called me and said Richard is there.”

That succeeded in fully waking Ada up. “Is he okay?” she asked as she frantically grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt to toss on over her compression shorts and tank top attire. 

Jarndyce looked down at his hand, which was still holding his phone with white knuckles. “I don’t know. I mean, they did say he wasn’t critical, but that he was in a car crash. They wouldn’t give me much more over the phone.”

Ada was changed and ready to go by the time he finished answering, and said “Then let’s go find out.”

After arriving at the hospital and talking to the nurses, Jarndyce came back to Ada in the lobby and filled her in.

“Apparently he was at a party and got in a car with one of his drunk friends driving. They crashed into a tree only a quarter mile from the party.”

“Is he okay?”

“A little banged up, and they’re pumping his stomach because of how much he drank and how high his BAC is, but they said he’ll be okay and we can go back and see him soon.”

They sat in an isolated corner of the lobby, and Ada leaned against Jarndyce’s shoulder for comfort. After a few minutes, a nurse came and broke the silence to get Jarndyce to fill out some paperwork. As he was filling it out, they called them back to Richard’s room.

Richard regained sober consciousness later that night, but when he saw Jarndyce’s face he demanded that the nurse give him something to help him sleep. On his second wake up, this one mid-morning, Jarndyce was still sitting next to Richard’s bed with the same unreadable expression on his face. 

After Richard buzzed for a nurse to help him to the bathroom “yeah, help me up, I need to go take a shit,” “Jesus, that hurts, be careful” “you know what, you’re not helping at all, get out of my way.”

As he gingerly retook his seat on the bed, Richard still couldn’t look Jarndyce in the eye. “Where’s Ada?”

“I sent her home with Maude,” Maude was Jarndyce’s assistant. “She’s very concerned about you, though. You gave her quite a scare. You gave us both quite a scare.”

“Yeah, well, things just got kind of out of hand. It won’t happen again.”

Jarndyce wanted to nod and agree. He wanted to believe Richard and avoid the confrontation he so hated, but he couldn’t. He had ignored the reports from other parents of Richard’s bullying, ignored his superior attitude to Jarndyce’s assistant and their housekeepers, even ignored Richard’s sneaking out to parties. 

Ignored might be the wrong word, actually. Making excuses for might be more accurate. But no more. He had a job to do as a parent to this young man, and he would just have to shove aside his own discomfort and bite the bullet.

“Richard, this is serious. You could have died, or killed someone else.”

“I wasn’t even driving, and it’s not like there was any body near--” Richard’s voice, raised in self defense, was cut off by Jarndyce.

“No. You don’t get to make excuses right now. I’ve been ignoring too much of your misbehaviour, and I see that now. We need to have a serious talk.”

\---

“What did he say?”

“Who?”

“Come on, you know who.”

"Voldemort?"

"Richard," Ada chastised, and he sighed in resignation.

Richard and Ada were laying on his bed a few days after he returned from the hospital, and Ada was trying to get to the root of why Richard and Jarndyce had seemed so strained toward each other since the wreck.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh come on, it can’t have been that bad.”

“I just don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Richard’s harsh tone brooked no argument, and Ada fell silent. 

“I’m sorry, I just…” he trailed off, unsure where he was going. “It wasn’t good. You’re the only one who believes in me and loves me any more, Ada.” He glanced at her quickly and then looked back at the ceiling, unsure. “You do love me, right?”

“Of course I do, Richard. You’re like my brother, I can’t ever get rid of you” She nudged him playfully with her elbow.

“I love you too.” He then furrowed his brow and looked thoughtful. “I’m not your brother though. I’m your best friend and I trust you more than anything, but we’re not actually related.”

“I guess not. Why is that important?”

Richard grabbed her small hand with his and turned it over before looking at her face and smiling. She smiled innocently back into the face she knew so well. The eyes that held her own that day on the bus and had been her rock many times since. 

Blushing at her smile, Richard brought her hand up to his lips and gave it a feather light kiss. 

Oh.

Ada suddenly had an idea why their not being related might be important to him.


	6. Queen Pop the First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esther at Chesney Academy, Richard and Ada, Jarndyce gets an idea.

Chesney Academy is ancient. As ancient as anything in America can be, anyway (which is to say, not very ancient, but it was certainly the oldest thing Esther had ever seen).

One of the ancient and venerated traditions of Chesney Academy was the house system. The school was split into three houses, each named after important people in the creation of the school. The three houses were Dedlock, Rouncewell, and Boythorn, and they each lived in dormitory halls bearing the same names. The students were sorted equally into the three houses.

Esther was placed in Dedlock House, and her room was 260 Dedlock Hall.

The first thing Esther learned in Dedlock was that Boythorns were troublesome pranksters and to expect a full out turf war during spirit week. There was talk of arming themselves, building traps, and other such extreme measures that caused Esther a good deal of concern. She then learned that the senior leader of Dedlock was dating the senior leader of Boythorn, though, and came to realize that it was all in good fun, even if it did occasionally get out of hand.

Every class group in each house had a leader. 1st leader for the first years, all the way up to 8th leader, or senior leader, for the seniors about to graduate. Those were their official titles, anyway. In practice, the houses took it upon themselves to give the leaders creative names and honorifics. 

During Esther’s first year, she learned that the senior leader of Dedlock was actually King Poptart the Second, often called His Royal Strudel, His Majesty Pop, King Pop, or just Pop, due to him and his older brother each receiving a care package of Poptarts from their parents once a week every week during their respective first years. That was certainly one of the tamer names. 

Elections took place at the end of every year for the following year’s leadership. Since first years did not know each other and clearly did not do elections before they arrived, they were led by a series of randomly selected leaders during the year. Esther was the third of these random leaders, and her reign came during the first of the twice a semester cleaning weeks.

A better role for her could not have been found, and she led the other thirty first years in a top to bottom cleaning of Dedlock Hall. She organized cleaning parties for them, complete with food, games, and music. She even went around and fixed a lot of the broken items in the hall that facilities would have taken another four months to get to.

Though she was not the official leader again after that, she was firmly established as the de facto leader. By the end of the first year, she led regular first year gatherings and workshops where she taught everyone fun crafts they could occupy their time with, send home to their missed parents, and make gifts for everyone else. Never before had such a large group of child knitters graced Dedlock Hall. 

It was during these gatherings that her class grew close, though that was not without a few road blocks. Esther was kind, smart, and caring, but she was quiet and reserved, and it was only a week before winter break that Mary realized she didn’t actually know anything about Esther.

“What about you, Esther? Are you going home for Christmas?” 

“Uh” Esther missed a stitch in her knitting with her hesitation, “yeah. We’re Jewish though.” Ms. Badik and Ms. Schultz had started the process of adopting Esther officially (they had actually completed it and were planning on presenting her with the paperwork as a gift during her break, unbeknownst to Esther), so she thought it was safe enough to refer to them as her family, even though she wasn’t really Jewish and nothing was actually official yet. It stopped the questions, anyway. Hopefully.

“Wait you don’t celebrate Christmas? But you’ve been helping all of us make presents!” Mary said it in a tone of voice that was clearly approving of Esther’s stepping beyond herself to help others, and several other people in earshot nodded in agreement. 

Mary was nothing if not talkative though, and she trudged onward, deeper into uncomfortable territory. “I feel bad for the kids who don’t have anywhere to go over Christmas.” She leaned toward the center of the circle conspiratorially and lowered her voice, “I heard that there are a bunch of foster kids here. I think Ricardo, you know Rico, the third year?, I think he’s one of them. I heard him say something about having to get permission to stay here over break, anyway.”

Esther put her knitting down, having missed so many stitches that she knew she was done being productive for the time being. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“No! Of course nothing is _wrong_ with it. It’s just sad.”

Esther hummed in slight disapproval and Mary felt compelled to keep digging herself into a hole. “I don’t know. My mom was saying that my cousin didn’t get in here because of the foster kid program. They take up spots that kids who actually deserve them don’t get.”

Face turning red and eyes heating up in the way she hated but happened too often, Esther folded up her knitting and slid it inside her bag. “I got in on the foster scholarship, Mary.”

With that simple statement, Esther fled the room, Mary’s deafening silence following her.

After that incident, Esther avoided the other children as much as she could, fearing they all thought like Mary. What if they all thought she didn’t deserve to be there? Now that they knew she was a foster kid they would stop being nice to her.

Esther shed quite a few tears that next week, and when it came time for the next crafting session she stayed in her room, now thoroughly convinced everyone hated her. 

It was thirty minutes after the scheduled start time for their Thursday evening crafting when there was a knock on Esther’s door. Wrapping her blanket tighter around her and wishing she could tell whoever it was to leave her alone, her drills in hospitality overcame that desire and she called out a quiet “Come in.”

Mary came in, followed Ricardo, the third year Mary suspected was a foster kid. Esther didn’t say anything, but nodded for them to sit at her desk across from her. Once they were seated, Ricardo began to speak. 

“Mary told me what happened last week and asked me to come with her today to help her make sure she gets her intended point across. I’m the third year scholarship kid, by the way. My name is Ricardo. You can call me Rico.”

“Nice to meet you.” Esther’s quiet voice came from her bed, in which she was sitting upright and swaddled in a large comforter. 

“Esther, I-- I’m sorry.” Mary looked like she was about to cry, and to Esther’s great alarm she followed suit.

“I didn’t know you were in the foster system,” she glanced at Rico, gaining strength from his quiet nod, before continuing, “but it shouldn’t have mattered.”

“I shouldn’t have just listened to what my mom said without actually thinking about it. You and the other foster kids here earned their place just like everyone else-- even more than everyone else, really.”

“I know I was mean and wrong and I’m sorry. I would like the chance to get to know you better and still be your friend.” Mary looked down and added “If you’ll let me.”

“And Esther, for what it’s worth, Mary came to me the day after the incident in tears because she felt so bad. She wanted to apologize right away but she didn’t know anything about the foster system or the scholarship program or anything that actually ties in to why she offended you. We’ve spent the last week going over stuff about it.” He chuckled, “She wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“Really?” Esther looked at Mary for confirmation, disbelieving that anyone could show that much interest in her or want to be her friend so badly. 

Mary nodded and wiped at her wet cheeks. “That way if my mom or anyone else says stupid stuff I can prove that they’re wrong. And so I can be a better friend. I mean, I know I talk too much and my brother says I’m abrasive sometimes but I don’t mean to be I just get so excited and the words want to come out--”

Mary was cut off by Esther tumbling out of the bed and pulling her into a hug.

“Of course we can be friends” Esther mumbled into her hair, causing Mary to jump up and down in excitement.

Esther’s interpersonal issues didn’t go away after that, but they certainly improved. She learned a lot about her classmates and their own issues, and shared a small bit of her own history when she was comfortable with it. 

When elections rolled around at the end of the year, there was no question among the first years of Dedlock Hall who they were voting for. Same went for the third year leader, and fourth year leader, and on up the line until Esther became the senior leader. 

She never felt that she deserved such an honor and responsibility, but decided that for as long as they insisted on putting their faith in her she would do her best to lead them. 

During cleaning week her fourth year, the first year she tasked with emailing out information on the cleaning party drew a picture of Esther as Mary Poppins as part of the invitation. Since it was such a wonderful comparison, and since there was already a fourth year named Mary, Esther was bestowed the name of Lady Poppins. During her sixth year it was upgraded to Duchess Poppins, and when she became senior leader she was promoted once more to Queen Poppins, or Queen Pop the First. 

It was this very same Queen Pop the First on a weekend visit to her moms (she finally agreed to call by them mom after three years of insistence) who sat faced with a dilemma. 

“It’s good that you have so many choices, dear.” Ms. Badik sat with her hand on Esther’s arm, and both of them were looking at the veritable flood of college acceptance letters. 

Esther looked helplessly at the pile and groaned. “There are _too_ many. I don’t know what to pick.”

Ms. Badik laughed at Esther’s dramatic expression before schooling her face into passivity when Esther shot her a glare. 

“Let’s look at this logically first. We can narrow the pile by, what?” Ms. Badik held up her hand and started ticking things off. “Location, size, degree programs, cost, internship or study abroad opportunities, prestige, the list goes on.”

Esther’s face became slightly less disheartened at all of that, so Ms. Badik smiled knowingly and got up to grab a notepad and pen from the counter a few feet away. “Okay, let’s take this step by step, oh logical daughter of mine. Location. Any idea on state preference, or rural vs. urban?”

They stepped through location (not sure about state, but leaning toward an urban campus), size (big, she wanted to branch out after tiny Chesney Academy), degree programs (probably humanities of some sort but honestly no clue, at which time Ms. Badik reminded her of Ms. Schultz’s inability to choose her major for two years), cost (she had a meeting with some woman named Maude from the scholarship program on Wednesday about that), internship or study abroad opp-- (Esther proclaimed her brain to be melting and stopped the conversation here, agreeing to resume it the following weekend after her meeting with Maude).

And after an anxious few days of waiting, Maude came to Chesney to sit down with Esther.

“Hello, Esther. It’s lovely to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

Esther shook Maude’s hand and responded with a “Nice to meet you too, ma’am.”

“Oh you can stop it with that ma’am nonsense. Makes me feel like an old lady. Just call me Maude.”

“Okay then, Maude.” Esther smiled and Maude beamed back, nodding in approval. 

“I don’t want to waste your time, so I’ll get right down to business.” Maude pulled some papers out of her bag and set them down in front of Esther. “My boss is the anonymous benefactor who funds the scholarship program, and no” she held up a finger to Esther, who had opened her mouth as though to speak, “I’m not at liberty to disclose his identity, as he prefers to remain anonymous.”

“Why is that? I owe so much to him. My entire life, really. It feels wrong not to thank him.”

“My employer is uncomfortable with displays of gratitude. Don’t ask me why, I couldn’t tell you.” 

Maude flipped open the first folder and looked up at Esther. “So, on to business. I have your Chesney Academy records here, and I must say that I am beyond impressed, Ms. Summerson. Elected leader every year, fantastic recommendations, valedictorian. You’ve built up quite an early resume.”

Esther, unsure of what to say to such praise, settled on a simple “Thank you.”

Maude pulled a sheet of paper from a second folder and turned it so Esther could see. “With your record, you have a lot of options, all of which my employer is prepared to financially assist you with. This sheet outlines the specifics in brief detail.”

“Do you plan to attend university directly or pursue another route? Vocational school, directly into the workforce, a gap year?”

“No, I want to go straight to college.”

“Excellent. My employer is prepared to give you up to $50,000 a year for schooling, lodging, meals, and any other education-related expenses you should have. The restrictions on what it can and can’t be spent on are in here,” Maude handed a blue folder to Esther, “and you can take your time to peruse it later. I think you’ll find that it’s quite a bit more lenient than most scholarship offers.”

Esther silently took the folder, awed by the generous figure. 

“I have all of the forms you’ll need to complete to formally accept the offer, but once they’re done all we’re going to need from you are once a semester meetings with me.”

Maude handed her a thick stack of papers and a card with a single phone number on it. “If you have any questions or are confused by anything, just give me a call. Don’t be shy.”

Esther, head reeling, saw Maude out of the building. Maude drove back to the office of John Jarndyce, already mentally planning her brief on Esther. He was pleased with her on-paper accomplishments, of course, but when he heard what a wonderful young woman she was he would be downright ecstatic. He always loved when his kids succeeded, and with his recent issues with his son Richard, who just returned from the hospital two weeks before, this would be more than welcome news. 

Something else was troubling Jarndyce about his children, however, and it was something that made him extremely uncomfortable. He was growing more certain every day of Richard’s attraction to Ada, and he wasn’t sure whether Ada reciprocated or not. Either way, though, it was bound to cause issues. 

There was nothing legally wrong with them engaging in a romantic relationship, since there was no actual blood relation. It was weird, sure, but that wasn’t even what concerned Jarndyce the most. He had raised them in the same household and hoped they would grow together as siblings, but he also made sure they never forgot where they came from. He dug up everything he could about their birth parents and regularly brought them to visit their graves. They were never under the impression they were related, and if that fact led to this attraction, then that was a price he was willing to pay for ensuring they never forgot their heritage. 

That being said, Jarndyce did not approve one bit. Not one bit. 

If they were earnest and good and in love he could support it, probably. He was a supporter of positive, consensual love in almost any form, but not between Richard and Ada. Richard wasn’t good for Ada, and he watched him get worse with each passing day. As much as it pained him, he knew Richard was falling deeper into a hole. He would be there for him if he hit the bottom, but he did not want Ada to be dragged with him.

So two nights later when he saw Richard kiss Ada goodnight at the door to her bedroom, he waited for Richard to return to his room before approaching Richard’s door. 

“Richard, my boy, may I come in?”

And when he left a fuming Richard’s room ten minutes later, he walked to Ada’s room. 

“Ada, my dear, may I come in?”

Telling her everything he told Richard, not believing in lying to his children, Jarndyce also told her a few additional things. He did not approve of Richard’s attempts to court her or of their engaging in a romantic relationship, he was disappointed in Richard’s behaviour for a number of reasons and more than worried Ada would be sucked into delinquency as well, and he thought Richard needed to figure himself out before he engaged in any form of relationship.

That being said, if at 18 they decided they still wished to pursue a romantic relationship, Jarndyce would not stand in their way.

Ada, who wasn’t even sure if she wanted what Richard did, but who loved him so much to want to ease his pain, nodded in understanding. She did not think Richard had earned such a negative reputation, but she did think Jarndyce deserved absolute obedience and respect, and that outweighed her other concerns. 

He left her room and returned to his own. 

Later that night, Richard knocked on Ada’s door and she opened it to admit him. When he tried to kiss her after only three seconds inside though, she firmly pushed him out of the room and closed the door.

“Come on Ada, really? I just want some comfort, is that so bad?”

“I’m going to respect what he wants, Richard. And I’m not sure I like you like that anyway.” Her voice was muffled through the door, but Richard heard clearly enough to grow angry. 

“You’re just saying that because of him. I’ll make you like me though, just wait.”

And so began the two years of attempted courting from Richard. He brought her flowers, bought her gifts, and tried to kiss her several times. He had sex with many other girls of course, given his veritable celebrity in school, but he scared away any boys who were interested in Ada. 

He talked to Jarndyce as little as possible, stayed out as often as he could, and comforted himself with the knowledge that at least Ada still loved him. 

And when he woke up with nightmares, at least now he was old enough to stifle his sobs, and strong enough to climb down the trellis outside his window, and rich enough to buy alcohol for him and his friends. 

When Richard graduated high school and said he was going to NYU, which is where Ada had already registered for, he asked Jarndyce if they could get an apartment together. Jarndyce refused, but it did give him an idea. 

“Maude. Esther Summerson, is she still at NYU?”

“She is. She’s nearing the end of her sophomore year.”

“Hmm.” Jarndyce hummed in thought. “What is your opinion of her character?”

“The absolute highest. She is a lovely young woman.”

“Can you schedule a meeting between her and I? I would like to speak to her about being Ada’s roommate this summer and next school year.”

Maude rose one eyebrow in surprise at him wanting to meet one of his children, for the first time ever, but opened his calendar and pulled up Esther’s number regardless. 

Esther accepted the appointment immediately, of course, though she had no idea what it was about. All she knew was that she was about to meet her mysterious benefactor to whom she owed her life.


	7. And they were roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada and Esther meet.

Jarndyce sat inside his office, hands fidgeting. He could hear Maude greeting Esther warmly on the other side of the door, and he broke into a light nervous sweat. He told Maude to ensure he wasn’t thanked or showered in praise or any other such nonsense that people liked to do around him, but he could never trust that people would follow her instruction. It was a strange thing, he reflected, that expressions of gratitude were more for the person doing the thanking than the person receiving it. 

He was startled out of his ruminations on the nature of gratitude by a knock on the door and Maude’s immediate entrance. She saw his worried face and smiled a reassuring smile in his direction. Maude had worked for Jarndyce for most of her adult life so far, and she knew his idiosyncrasies inside and out. 

“Esther Summerson is here to see you, Mr. Jarndyce. And yes,” she continued, “I have thoroughly warned her off from any expressions of gratitude or praise, no matter how well deserved.”

“Thank you, Maude.” Jarndyce huffed at her subtle poking fun at him, took a deep breath, and stood up from his desk. He hated talking to new people, but it was now or never. 

He walked Maude to the door, and as she exited, he waved Esther inside. “Ms. Summerson, my dear child, come on in.”

Esther suppressed her urge to say “Thank you, sir” for holding the door open for her, as she wasn’t sure how far his peculiar aversion to gratitude went. Once inside, she followed him to the two chairs he indicated and settled into one of them. 

“I trust you didn’t have too much difficulty in getting here?”

“No, the metro was actually on time today.” 

Jarndyce laughed and said “First time for everything I guess.” Esther found some of the tension leave her shoulders at hearing his warm laugh, and she let out a breath of a laugh herself.

“I do have something specific I want to talk to you about, Esther, but first I would like to learn a bit about you. I know what your record says, of course,” he gestured to his desk, “and I know the praise Maude has showered upon you,” he pointed to the open door, “but none of that is actually you, I’m sure.”

Esther was too startled for a moment by Maude praising her, thinking how undeserved that was, to reply, but she hopped back into the conversation after only a brief hesitation.

“What would you like to know?”

Jarndyce leaned back and rested his folded hands against his slight pouch of a stomach. “Gee. I guess it would be too much to get you to recount your life since you were 8, which was the last time I saw you. Hmm…” he trailed off, leaving Esther to wonder when she had ever met him before, “Tell me about your family. Are they good to you?”

Esther’s heart filled with love at the thought of her moms, and the glow of her love showed plain as day on her face. “Yes, sir, they are extremely good to me and always have been.”

“What do they do?”

“A doctor and an artist,” she laughed at his expression of surprise. “Yeah, they balance each other out well.”

“That’s certainly a unique mix, but I could see how it would work.”

They passed several minutes with Esther answering questions about her moms and her life with them, and once they each got over their nervousness they found a delightful conversation partner in the other. 

“Maude told me you’re still undeclared at NYU, is that right?”

“Er-- yes.” She was closing in on the deadline to declare, and it was something of a sore subject for her.

“You need to declare by the end of this semester, right?”

“Yes.” 

“Do you have any thoughts about what you want to pursue?” 

“About a million, which is kind of the problem” Esther said with a touch of bitterness and exasperation. “Definitely something in the humanities, but beyond that I don’t know.”

Jarndyce, for all his awkwardness with human interaction, was able to recognize a touchy subject when he stumbled upon one. “Well I won’t chide you for that, I’m sure you get it enough from your moms and advisors. I will give one piece of fatherly advice, though, if you’ll oblige me” Esther nodded in agreement.

“I would pair whatever humanities major you choose with a minor in a different field, something like business or accounting or management. You can never be too well rounded, and those fields are good complements to basically everything in the humanities.”

Esther had heard it before, but never from so non-judgemental a voice, and she nodded once again in gratitude. Jarndyce seemed satisfied and continued talking. 

“Speaking of NYU, though, what’s your current living situation?”

“I have an apartment not too far from campus and two roommates.”

“I see. Are you satisfied with that arrangement? Are you friends with your roommates?”

“It’s fine for what I need, yes,” Esther shrugged. “And we typically get along, but I wouldn’t call us friends. We don’t really do anything outside of live together.”

Jarndyce looked satisfied and a bit relieved with her response, leaving Esther to wonder what he was getting at. 

“I told you I had a request for you, but I want you to know that you can absolutely refuse it if you don’t want to do it. I will continue funding your education and living arrangements and will not think any worse of you for it. Do you understand?”

Esther nodded.

“Okay, good. My daughter, Ada, is starting at NYU next fall, and I would like to ask you to be her roommate.”

Esther raised her eyebrow in surprise. That was the big request?

Mistaking her surprise for displeasure with the idea, Jarndyce continued nervously. “She’s 17, so just two years younger than you, and she’s a great girl. I’m not just saying that because I’m her dad, either. She’s kind and compassionate and has a real knack for defending the downtrodden.” 

“I want to allow her to move to the city right after she graduates next month so she can get to know the city better and her new roommate.”

Esther had tried several times to interject and offer her acceptance, but Jarndyce’s nervousness kept him rambling forward. 

“My son Richard is also coming to NYU, following her, really, and I must confess that I would like Ada to have companionship that is not him. He’s been going through a really tough time and I’m worried about him pulling Ada down with him. And then you add in the whole layer of him being attracted to her,” Esther pulled a face and Jarndyce hastily continued “it’s not like that, don’t worry. I adopted them both after a bad bus crash a decade ago so they’re not actually related. I mean, perhaps it is still weird, but I’m less concerned about the optics and more about the actual health of my children. Ada clearly loves him, but I don’t think she really understands him, or a lot of people, for that matter. She didn’t really have a lot of friends growing up and--”

Esther was starting to get really uncomfortable hearing everything about Ada’s life, and she was sure the girl wouldn’t want her to know her life story, so she thought she would risk hopping into the rambling river of Jarndyce’s words. 

“Mr. Jarndyce,” she quietly but firmly cut him off. “You don’t need to do any more convincing. I’d be happy to room with Ada.”

“You will?” Jarndyce smiled widely. “That’s great! I’ll have Maude find you two an apartment and handle the payment.”

As if on cue, Maude leaned her head in through the open doorway. “My ears were burning. What do you need?”

“Prompt as ever, Maude. Yes, find a nice apartment for Esther and Ada and handle the payments out of my primary account.”

Maude smiled. “I’ll get on that right away.” She then winked at Esther and said “Ada’s a doll, dear. You’ll get along great.” 

Jarndyce and Esther talked for a while longer before he sent her on her way back to school. He gave her a rough estimate of two months to get the new apartment situated, and told her that Maude would be in contact with all of the details regarding movers and such logistical concerns. 

Two months later, Esther helped the movers move the last of her boxes, of which there weren’t many, into their truck. Though they initially insisted against it, she rode with them to her new apartment, chatting about them the whole way. By the time they got there, the movers, so used to being ignored or harshly ordered about, found themselves once again unable to resist Esther’s insistence at helping them carry her things inside.

Esther walked out of the elevator on the floor of her new apartment, holding two boxes stacked in her arms. One of the movers was next to her, pushing a dolly with four more boxes on it, and the other mover was downstairs with the truck and the few remaining items. 

“804, right?” the mover asked Esther for confirmation, and she nodded in return. She knew Mr. Jarndyce and Ada were already there so the door should be unlocked. 

As they neared the aforementioned apartment, Esther’s nerves kicked in. She hadn’t changed her mind at all, she owed Mr. Jarndyce the world and Ada really did sound nice, but meeting new people always made her nervous. 

When she got to the end of the hall she saw that the door to the apartment was open and heard music coming from within. Jack, the mover, walked inside ahead of her and placed the boxes off to the left side of the living room. 

Esther followed him through the door, but before she could put her boxes down, she froze.

In the living room just a few yards behind Jack, dancing and singing loudly to what Esther recognized as a Spice Girls song, was Ada. 

Esther’s heart seized in her chest and red spread across her cheeks as she caught sight of Ada. Her grip on the boxes faltered, and if it weren’t for Jack stepping over to steady her and set the boxes down she’s sure they would have crashed to the floor. 

Jack looked between Esther and Ada and laughed quietly. He leaned down and whispered something to Esther that made her blush intensify, and then went out of the door to bring the last trip up.

All of the movement made Ada stop dancing and look up, and when she saw Esther she grinned. Mr. Jarndyce, from his spot seated on the couch, greeted her with an “Ah, Esther! Welcome.”

Unable to speak just then, Esther managed a small, shy wave in Ada’s direction. Ada was having none of that though, and she ran across the room to envelop Esther in a crushing hug. 

“Hi! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Ada.”

Esther brought her arms up hesitatingly and gave Ada a small hug in return, wondering why her hands were sweating and her heart was pounding against her ribs. She thought it might’ve been-- but no, we can get into that later.


	8. 12 Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ada and Esther get closer, Richard gets in trouble, and Esther meets a young boy she once held 12 years ago.

Ada loved nearly everyone, but after a few weeks living with Esther she knew that she was going to love Esther more than anyone else. Really, it just wasn’t fair that she was so perfect. 

The first Sunday they were in the apartment, Ada came back from a yoga class to find Esther sitting on the floor in the middle of a flood of books. She had her laptop on an ottoman next to her, and a half full bookcase in front of her.

“Uh, Esther?”

Esther looked up at Ada and smiled softly before returning to the task at hand, which, Ada learned after a few gentle probes, was integrating their two book collections into one digitized organizational system. 

A few days later, Ada asked Esther to pick the movie for their inaugural movie night. To her surprise, Esther, usually so quiet and serious, went straight for the Disney. Specifically, she went straight for Mulan. 

For the next hour and a half, Ada was treated to Esther breaking out her inner voice actor. She said half the lines, sang every song, and was full of such life that Ada just stared at her awestruck.

Esther noticed Ada staring and turned red, and at the end of the movie she told Ada about how Mulan was the first movie of her movie night with her moms. Which then turned into how it was her first movie ever, and her upbringing, and her new family, and other movies she liked, and really Ada couldn’t stop asking questions because Esther’s was hypnotic to her and she wanted to learn everything. 

Esther knew Ada had plans with her family on her actual 18th birthday, but she wanted to do something special for her just the two of them. So about a week before her birthday, Ada came home from an errand to Esther handing her a wrapped box.

“What is this? My birthday isn’t for another week!”

Esther laughed and pushed the gift into her hands anyway. “I know, but I wanted to get you to myself before sharing with your family.” She blushed then, and added on “I mean, not like to myself to myself. I don’t own you or anything, I just meant I thought it would be nice to celebrate here with the two of us--”

“Esther, dear, stop talking and go get me the scissors.” Ada laughed at the adorable ball of awkward that was Esther Summerson, and carried the gift into the living room. 

Esther came back with the scissors, still blushing, and sat next to Ada on the couch. With a few quick cuts of ribbon and some careful tearing of paper, Ada sat with an unopened box. 

“Open it!” Esther impatiently supplied, and Ada rolled her eyes before obliging. 

Inside the box was a Marauders Map puzzle, two mugs filled with packs of hot chocolate, and a box of rugelach from Zabar’s-- a Jewish bakery Esther had introduced Ada to in their first week in the apartment. 

“Okay so I know it isn’t much, but I know neither of us are huge partiers and figured we could have a birthday night in.” Esther looked at Ada hesitantly, “Do you like it?”

In response, Ada leaned over and pulled Esther into a hug. “This might be the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Esther thought she was exaggerating, but Ada was completely serious. Jarndyce bought her many expensive gifts, and she appreciated every one, but there always lacked a personal touch. Richard always got her gifts too, but his were always things he would find cool, and as a result they usually found their way into his room eventually. 

But this, this simple box of gifts was so exactly _her_ that she almost cried. 

Esther leaned back and said “I hope you like the puzzle. You said a couple of weeks ago how sad you were when that jerk in third grade ruined your puzzle at after school so I kind of took a leap and hoped you still liked them. And, well, anyone who knows you for more than five minutes knows what a major Harry Potter nerd you are.”

The emotion and adoration in Ada’s face was too much for Esther, who wasn’t sure why it was being directed at her, and she turned to grab the mugs and hot chocolate packs and go to the kitchen. “I’ll get started on these. Marshmallows?”

“Always.” 

Ada cleared off the coffee table and started organizing the pieces, but her productivity was impacted by her stealing glances at Esther every few seconds. She knew exactly what she was feeling, but she didn’t really know what to think or do about it. 

After getting halfway through the puzzle, Ada suggested they watch some Netflix and pick back up with the puzzle tomorrow. Esther could never say no to her, and so readily agreed. By the end of the second episode of Nailed It, Ada was asleep with her head on Esther’s shoulder, and by halfway through the third Esther had joined her in the land of unconsciousness. 

The next morning they woke up horizontal on the couch and curled around each other, and Esther started so much that she fell off of the couch. 

Ada’s quiet peal of laughter was enough to rid Esther of her embarrassment and break the tension, and she took Ada’s proffered hand to get to her feet. Neither spoke about their waking situation, and they carried on with their days with no difference, save perhaps their increased happiness. 

Ada and Esther grew closer and happier, but something dark was brewing just 20 minutes away from them. Richard wanted to move into the same apartment building as Ada, but Maude got him one that was a 20 minute metro ride away. He said some choice words to her, but she held firm and told him it was this or nothing. He took it. 

The first week of his living in the city he saw Ada every day, but as time went on that decreased to once a week, and usually became him asking her for money. Ada didn’t know why Richard needed more than his allowance, but she always gave him what he asked for. He looked even more pale and hollowed out than he did by the end of his senior year, and she started to suspect it was something more than the “I’m just staying inside more now that football is over” excuse he previously gave her. 

In reality, Richard was an addict, and had been one for some time. Not that he would admit it to himself.

One of his high school friends lived just a block from his apartment, and he was going to parties with him almost every night. He was exhausted, constantly in pain, and could hardly even remember what it was like to be sober anymore. 

But he couldn’t stop. Every time he thought about it, he would find himself calling Jack or one of the boys and getting trashed. Sometimes he would just call Alex and have him bring over the group’s standard “party supply” delivery. He knew Alex suspected he was using solo, but he also knew Alex wasn’t going to turn away from good money like Richard. 

A ringing phone pulled Richard from his drug-induced sleep, and he winced at the intrusion. Grabbing his phone and about to throw it across the room, he saw Ada’s name on the screen and decided against it. Hitting accept, he brought the phone to his ear. 

“What’s up?”

“Hey! I was just calling to remind you about my birthday party tonight. You’ll be there, right?”

“Of course I will, Ada.”

“And you’ll behave? You won’t start a fight with Mr. Jarndyce again, will you?”

“He fucking started the last one.”

“Richard.” Ada’s tone was reprimanding but gentle. 

“Ugh, fine. I’ll behave.”

“Thank you.”

There was an awkward pause, before Ada’s voice came back through the line, more worried than before. “I know we haven’t been hanging out as much, but I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, okay? I want to be there for you, Richard.”

Richard was once again tempted to throw the phone across the room, but instead just said “Yeah” and hung up. Ada’s dinner was at 8. He had a thing with Jack at 7, but it shouldn’t take longer than a few minutes. They were just meeting a new dealer since Alex was going out of town for a few weeks. 

Rolling over, he closed his eyes and went back to sleep. 

\---

Jo didn’t know what date it was, or even what day it was, but he found himself wandering around a seedier part of town on the night of Ada’s 18th birthday. He didn’t know that Ada was sitting in a fancy restaurant with fancy food and fancy people in fancy clothes, and he certainly didn’t know that he and Ada had been in the same place at the same time that one fateful night when he was four. He knew more than people gave him credit for, having virtually taught himself to read lips and sign from stolen books, but as far as the vast city was concerned, Jo knew nothing and was nothing. 

Jo capitalized on his nothing status and moved around the city like a shadow, or a Sarah Mclachlan commercial everyone changes the channel to get away from. On this night, he was moving up an alley in the dark when he stumbled over something large. Looking down, and with the help of the faint glow of lights from the street, Jo was startled to see that it was a young man about his age. 

Finding bodies or passed out drunks wasn’t exactly new for Jo, but finding one dressed as expensively, and beat up as badly, as this one, was. Jo bent down to check if he was even alive, and was surprised to find a weak pulse under all of the blood and bruising covering him. 

Jo looked around and heaved a sigh. He probably shouldn’t get involved, he didn’t know what this guy was into, but his better nature got the best of him and he carefully threw the man over his shoulder. 

He didn’t pass many people on his way to the hospital four blocks south, and those he did just looked away and walked faster by him. Jo was used to it, even without a nearly dead body slung over his shoulder. 

Finally reaching the hospital with quaking legs, Jo walked into the ER entrance. He had never been there, preferring to deal with ailments himself than walk into that money trap and risk getting put back in the system, but this guy looked like it wouldn’t be an issue for him. A nurse saw him and her eyes widened in alarm as she rushed over, talking too fast for him to get anything from her lips. 

The man was pulled from his shoulders and placed on a gurney, and Jo turned around surprised to see a trail of blood from the door to his current position. Apparently the man had been actively bleeding, and Jo was glad he chose to bring him to the hospital.

Casting one final thought of well-wishing in the direction they rolled his alley find off in, Jo turned to leave the hospital and head back to the street. When he was a few steps from the door, though, he was roughly seized and spun around by the nurse from earlier. 

He stepped back in fear and alarm and tried to make sense of what she was saying. He saw a cop walking in their direction from across the waiting room and his fear spiked even higher.

Jo frantically signed to her. _I’m deaf. Please slow down._

The nurse’s face immediately fell and he caught “Oh my god” and “sorry” from her lips, but that was it. She motioned for him to follow her, and pulled him into a smaller waiting room past the double doors. Motioning for him to stay put, she rushed out of the room and down the hall. Less nervous now that she wasn’t mad, and that the cop hadn’t followed them into the room, Jo waited patiently, enjoying the warm room.

She came back in a few minutes later with a kind-faced woman in her sixties, who sat down in the chair across from Jo. _My name is Maria. Sorry for the wait._

Realizing she must be the hospital’s interpreter, Jo was both grateful and intimidated. Grateful because understanding and being understood was extraordinarily rare for him. Intimidated for two reasons: he was still a minor, and had just carried an almost dead guy into the ER. He didn’t know if he was more scared of being roped back into the foster system or being implicated in the man’s attack. Probably the first. 

_Jo._

_Hi Jo. Don’t be scared_, Maria caught on to his fear, _the hospital just needs to figure out what happened._

_I found him and brought him here._

She nodded like he was confirming what she suspected, but her face turned apologetic. _Before we get started I need to ask how old you are._

Jo wanted to lie, but something about Maria’s face said she had been through this a million times before and wasn’t about to be fooled. _16_

_Do you have a guardian we can call?_

Jo shook his head and Maria bobbed hers in sad, silent confirmation. She got her share of runaways and homeless teens, but it never got any easier. Especially since she was a mandatory reporter.

_I have to tell them about you, Jo. I’m sorry._

Fidgeting with his hands in his lap, Jo nodded. 

A few minutes later, a new cop joined them in the small waiting room. Maria still acted as translator. 

“Hi, Jo. I’m Officer Bucket. I need to ask you a few questions.” Bucket was extraordinarily charismatic, and Jo recognized at once why they thought sending him in to the troubled kids would work.

“First, we need to figure out what happened to Richard.”

_Richard?_

“Richard Carstone, the boy you brought in. His wallet didn’t have any cash in it, but his id was still there. Can you talk me through everything you saw and did?” Bucket pulled out a notepad and sat poised, ready to take notes. 

About twenty minutes later Bucket’s questions about Richard had been answered to his satisfaction, and he learned that Jo had been living on the streets for nearly four years. He did not pity or fawn over Jo, for which Jo was exceedingly grateful.

“I’ll be back in a while to talk more about you, Jo, but for now you should try and relax. I’ll make sure someone comes in a few minutes to get a food and drink order, okay?” 

Jo nodded, stomach clenching in anticipation of eating a good meal, not suspecting how else his life was going to change that night.

\---

Ada was sad. Jarndyce was angry. 

They were sitting at a table for three for Ada's fancy birthday dinner, but the third seat was of course unoccupied. They waited thirty minutes and tried calling Richard a million times, but it was all to no avail. 

"I'm sorry, Ada. I hope we can still enjoy our dinner, though?"

Ada squeezed Jarndyce's hand and nodded. "I'm sure he'll turn up tomorrow and offer his usual apologies. But you're right, let's just enjoy our food."

"Not every day my best girl turns 18," Jarndyce squeezed her hand in return and flagged down a waiter to take their orders. 

During dessert, Jarndyce's phone rang and he apologized before turning it on vibrate. A few minutes later he took it out of his pocket in annoyance, grumbling "Who keeps calling me?"

"Excuse me, Ada." He walked briskly to the back of the restaurant and answered the phone. 

Ada took the opportunity to eat half of his dessert in addition to her own, knowing she could just say "It's my birthday" and get away with it. He would pretend to be upset for a moment before smiling and shaking his head good naturedly. 

When he did return to the table, though, it was not with a smile. 

"Richard's in the hospital, we have to go."

Ada flashed back to that night two years ago as she quickly rose to her feet and followed Jarndyce out of the restaurant and to the valet curb. 

In the car, she finally managed to ask what happened. Jarndyce's fingers tightened on the steering wheel and he said "All they said was he got attacked." He paused for a second as though debating whether to add something on, and finally settled on "And he's in pretty bad shape."

Ada was scared and mad and anxious, so she sought out the best comfort she knew. Fishing out her phone, she dialed a number and held it to her ear. 

"Who are you calling?"

"Esther."

Ada's face relaxed slightly as Esther answered. 

"Esther thank god you picked up."

"Uh, no, not really. Can you meet me at the hospital?"

"It's Richard, he got attacked and is in a bad way and we're on our way there now but you're closer and I just,” Ada took a breath, “I need you." 

"Thank you."

Jarndyce had never heard Ada use that tone of voice before and he wondered briefly at what it meant, but that was an issue for another day. 

They arrived at the hospital and quickly parked. Ada started looking around as soon as she entered the ER lobby, and she called out “Esther!” when she saw Esther talking to the receptionist at the front desk. 

Esther turned and just had time to brace herself for impact before Ada hit her with a bruising hug, tucking her face into her neck. After a moment, Esther leaned back and brushed the hair out of Ada’s face. “Are you okay?”

Ada shrugged and retucked her face into Esther’s neck. 

“How is Richard?” Jarndyce asked Esther.

“He’s in surgery. That’s all they would tell me without family here,” Esther gestured to the front desk.

Esther and Ada had a quiet whispered conversation while Jarndyce spoke to the receptionist. When he turned around a minute later he said “It’ll be another hour or two before he’s out of surgery, but they said we can head back and talk to someone assigned to his case about what happened before we need to wait in the waiting room.”

The three of them followed a nurse through the double doors to the back, but she paused after a few steps. “Non-family needs to wait up here,” she gestured to the small waiting area to her left, “at least until Mr. Carstone is out of surgery.”

Ada protested, but Esther told her it would be okay and went to take a seat in the waiting room. 

She passed a haggard looking teenager, an older woman, and a middle aged cop on her way into the room, and they all looked at her sideways, making her realize they were alone in the room. “Uh, sorry. They told me to wait in here. I’ll go sit over there,” she pointed to the farthest corner of the room and went to take a seat. 

Esther tried not to listen to what the interesting trio was talking about, she really did. It sounded incredibly personal and she didn’t like to intrude. Their words seemed to cut through any mental wall she tried to build, though, and soon she was learning everything there was to know about the boy.

First, his name was Jo. At least they think it was, since it was written on the inside of his shirt when he was found on the street at age four. 

Second, he was deaf. His signing hands gave hint of that, but his discussion of foster parents who beat him for not paying attention and refused to give him proper medical care really drove home the consequences of that. 

Third, he was a serial runner, starting from when he was six. He was in a home for over a year from age five to six, and it was an incredibly abusive situation. One day, he walked out of the front door and was picked up a week later by a cop. Every time after that he learned how to stay unseen for longer, and this latest time was his longest and most successful run. He wasn’t opposed to living in a good home, but after the dad at his last home tried to rape the other foster kid there, a girl a little younger than him named Charley, he lost all hope in the system. He ran away with Charley and they managed it on their own for about six months before she got picked back up. He hoped she went to a better place.

Fourth, he saved Richard. He was looking for food and instead found an injured man laying in an alley. Instead of leaving him there, he threw him on his too thin shoulders and carried him to the ER. 

Fifth, and this one blew Esther’s mind to an insane extent, _she knew him_. The detective made a note aloud about Jo being placed in the HECP on a specific date, and Esther froze and dropped all pretense of not listening. She was in the HECP on that date, as were Ada and Richard, a fact she learned only recently. 

Esther watched him closer, and maybe it was some defining feature of his face, or maybe it was the same dirt that marred it, but suddenly she was filled with a memory of the same boy as a four year old sitting on her lap. She gasped loudly with that realization and the cop and interpreter looked at her in concern. Jo followed their gaze and all of a sudden he couldn’t look away either. 

Esther stood up and began making her way to him, fidgeting with her hands and looking incredibly nervous. She said something but Jo was too focused on her hands to pay attention to what her lips were doing. 

She reached him, and when one of those hands covered his arm, Jo remembered a partial memory of a pale hand and kindness. Was this her?

Finally he looked at Maria, who translated. _Her name is Esther. She was at the HECP on the same day as you. She said you might be a bit too big to sit in her lap now,_ Maria and Esther both smiled, _but she’s happy to see you._

_How are you? You look so pretty._ He turned up his nose slightly and added _and rich_.

So began their reconnection. Esther told him all about her life since that day, and about Ada and Mr. Jarndyce and Richard. She told him about her school and her moms and trying to get over everything her aunt beat into her head. 

While they were talking, Esther couldn’t stop thinking about how insane their positions were. They were all in the same spot 12 years ago, and now look where they were. Her and Ada made out the best of them all, but here Richard was an addict in the hospital and Jo was a homeless teen.

If Jo had even some of the opportunities as her, Ada, and Richard, maybe he wouldn’t be in his situation. 

“Sir,” Esther turned to address the cop, “is he going to be placed back in the system?”

The cop, who introduced himself as Officer Bucket, responded in the affirmative. 

“I might know a couple who would be willing to take him in. Good couple, good people. They already have their checks done.”

Bucket said he couldn’t make any promises, but he took down the names Esther supplied and asked Jo if he was interested. _Anything has to be better than the old ones._ He took that as a yes. 

Ada and Jarndyce came into the waiting room after a while and Esther gave Ada a big hug before pulling over a chair for her and Jarndyce. 

“Mr. Jarndyce, Ada, this is Jo. He’s the boy who found Richard and brought him here.”

Jarndyce shook Jo’s hand, and Ada wrapped him in a tearful hug. Jo was taken aback by all of this, especially the fact that all these rich people were touching him and seeing him and not wrinkling their noses in aversion. 

The five of them all talk for about thirty minutes, with Mr. Jarndyce and Officer Bucket having a quieter conversation off to the side for five of them, talking about Richard’s assault case. 

When Richard got out of surgery, Ada, Esther, and Jarndyce were allowed back to near his room. When he woke up and was told what happened to him-- broken nose, ribs, punctured lung, and three abdominal stab wounds that nicked half of his organs-- he looked the strangest mix of scared, angry, and disgusted that anyone had ever seen on his face. 

He didn’t say much to anyone for a long time, but a quiet “Can I talk to Ada alone?” got everyone to clear out. 

“I’m so sorry, Ada.”

She rushed over and grabbed his hand gently with hers. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because I’m an idiot. We were at a drug deal with this new guy and things went south and Jack took off and left me there.” He threw his head back against the pillows before wincing in pain at the movement. “I should’ve just gone straight to you birthday dinner. I’m sorry.”

“Shh, Richard. It’s okay. I don’t blame you.”

“I’ll be more careful next time I promise.” Richard said this emphatically and seriously, but Ada’s hand slacked around his and she froze.

“Next time?”

“Yeah. I mean, Alex will be back in town in a couple weeks and he would never dick us over like this.”

“Richard,” Ada removed her hand completely, “you almost died tonight. If Jo hadn’t found you and brought you here, you would have died in that alley.”

“Yeah but I didn’t.” Richard faltered before regaining his strength. “And with you helping me I know I’ll be fine.”

Now Ada was angry. “I’ve taken you for a lot of things, Richard Carstone, but never an idiot. You almost died because of your addiction, and your response is ‘better luck next time’?”

“Oh come on Ada don’t be like that.”

“No, Richard, I will be like that. You need help.”

“Then help me! Date me, move in with me. I know I can get better if you’re helping me.” Richard was like a drowning man, trying to latch on to whatever and whoever he could. 

“No.”

“But you’re 18 now. That old fool can’t stop you anymore. Don’t you love me?”

Ada threw up her hands in exasperation. “Of course I do, Richard, but like my brother. We’re too different for this to ever work out, even if I did feel that way about you.”

Now Richard was angry. “What, do you have someone else? Couldn’t wait for me?”

“It’s not about that Richard, and stop trying to change the subject! You need help, and for once in your goddamn life I can’t fix your mess for you!” Ada’s voice rose to a shout by the end of her comment, and Richard sat back in shock. Ada had never spoken to him like that. 

“Get out.”

“Richard, come on, I’m just--”

“Get out!” Richard yelled at her, then grabbed his abdomen in pain. 

Ada took a step toward him in concern, but he flashed wild eyes at her and she stopped in her tracks. “I said get out, you stupid bitch!”

Ada physically flinched and immediately turned to flee into the hallway, where Jarndyce and Esther were waiting for her, having heard their conversation. As Esther talked softly to Ada, Jarndyce clenched his jaw and walked into Richard’s room. 

“You’re going to rehab.”

Richard laughed. “Fat chance of that.”

Jarndyce stayed calm. “This isn’t a negotiation. You’re going to Bagnet Rehab Facility as soon as you heal sufficiently from your physical wounds. It’s the best of the best, and if anyone can straighten you out it’s them.”

“Maybe you didn’t hear me, _dad_,” Richard said mockingly, “but I said no.”

“And maybe you didn’t hear me, but no is not an option. Either you go to rehab, or I cut you out of our lives completely. I already lost one son, and I’m not about to watch while another kills himself in front of me. And I am never, _ever_ going to allow you to speak to Ada that way again. She’s been happier these last weeks without you than I’ve ever seen her, and I’m not going to let you drag her down again.”

Richard opened his mouth to spit an angry retort, but he caught sight of Ada in the hallway and paused. She was sobbing openly and being comforted by her roommate, and all at once everything hit him. Richard closed his eyes and whispered “Just leave.”

“Will you go to Bagnet?”

Richard nodded. “But please go.”

Jarndyce left the room, closed the door behind him, and told Esther and Ada what Richard agreed to. He wanted to take Ada home with him, but after watching her and Esther all night, he knew that their apartment was where she needed to be. 

He drove them back to the apartment in grim silence, and walked them to the door. 

“He’ll be okay, right?” Ada looked at Jarndyce, her anxiety written plainly on her face.

He smiled and hugged her briefly. “I certainly hope so, dear.”


	9. Goodbye, Jo

And Richard was okay, mostly.

He was released from the hospital after a week and spent another couple of weeks at home. After that, Jarndyce drove him upstate to Bagnet and dropped him off with a packed bag and words of love that Richard only nodded in response to. It was a start.

Two months after he arrived at Bagnet, he called Ada after class. She didn’t recognize the number and let it go to voicemail, but when it called again immediately after, she decided to answer it. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Ada.”

“Richard! Oh my god how are you?” Ada was about to step out onto the street but paused and started rummaging in her bag before pulling out a pair of headphones. 

“I’m doing a lot better, really. I kind of hated it here at first but I think they’re exactly what I need.”

“I’m so happy to hear that, Richard. Hang on just a sec though, I’m gonna toss my headphones in real quick.” Ada plugged in her headphones and slipped them into her ears. “Okay better, now the lovely cacophony of New York won’t drown you out.”

Richard laughed, and it was a more genuine laugh than Ada had heard in years. “Yeah, I can’t say I miss that. Things are really quiet around here.”

“God, Richard, you sound so much better. How are they treating you? How are you feeling?”

“They’re great, Ada. Mrs. Bagnet runs the place like a well oiled machine and makes us participate in it. Well, she doesn’t really make us, I guess. I flat out refused to clean or contribute the first two weeks I was here, but she really has a way of weasling past your defenses. I honestly think making us do our own cleaning and cooking and things gives us some needed responsibility.”

Ada was shocked. Richard talking about cooking and cleaning and responsibility? Her Richard?

“Never thought I’d hear you talking about voluntarily cleaning.”

And there it was again, that laugh she had so missed. “Neither did I, but I think it’s been good for me. It lets me work with a lot of the other patients too.”

“That’s good. Are you following the rules? Going to therapy and whatever else they have you doing?”

“Yes, mom,” Richard sarcastically replied. “Actually one of the counsellors has been helping me figure a lot of my shit out. The others are good and they care and stuff, but Dr. Woodcourt just gets us, you know?”

“That’s great, Richard.” Ada decided to take a cab instead of the metro, not wanting to risk losing the call. She hailed one from the side of the road and hopped in, pausing from her phone call long enough to give the address to her apartment. 

“Yeah. It was actually his suggestion that I call you.” Richard paused for a few long moments and Ada let him sit, somehow sensing that he was trying to say something important. “Ada, I’ve been an absolute asshat to you, and not just with what I said at the hospital. You are the kindest, most amazing person I know and will probably ever meet, and I’ve taken advantage of that since day one. Dr. Woodcourt says to set goals, not ultimatums, because we’re human and make mistakes. So my goal is to treat you better-- to _be_ better. I might mess up, but I want you to know that I’m going to try, and that I’m sorry for everything.”

Ada wiped her eyes. “Ugh, Richard, you’re making me cry.”

The voice he responded with had its own share of wetness in it. “Yeah, well, emotions do that sometimes.”

“I know that was hard to say, and probably harder still to realize, so thank you. For what it’s worth, I forgive you, and I can’t wait for you to be in my life again.” Ada paused, thinking, but decided that they needed to set something totally clear. “As a friend and a brother.”

Richard sighed. “Yeah, I’d like that too. I had some unhealthy attachment and coping issues, and I’m still working on them, but I’ll always be your brother and your friend.” 

Richard continued, “Speaking of, are there any boys I need to give the brotherly talk to? I know you’re a big bad college student now and probably have them knocking on your door 24/7.” His tone was lighthearted and mostly joking, and Ada knew they were going to be alright. 

That didn’t mean she didn’t blush profusely at his question and think about Esther, though. “Uh-- no. No. No, no boys.”

“Ada, you’re a terrible liar. You just said no four times in the span of a second. Come on, spill.” He sounded like he did when they were ten, trying to get her to tell him where Jarndyce hid the candy.

Ada had been thinking that maybe it would be helpful for her to confide in someone, and this opportunity seemed perfect. So, with her heart beating a million times a minute, she said “Okay fine. I like someone. Kind of a lot.”

“Knew it! Who is he? Do I know him?”

“You know of her, yeah…”

“Oh.” Ada was worried at what Richard’s pause meant, but when he started talking again it was with as lively a tone as before. “Well who is she?”

Ada mumbled something unintelligible.

“Sorry, what was that? You’re going to have to speak up,” Richard teased.

“Esther.”

“Esther as in your roommate Esther?”

“Yeah.” Ada’s face was flaming by this point, but she felt a huge weight off her shoulders by acknowledging it out loud.

“Does she know? Does she like you too?”

Ada thought back to the night before, when she jokingly pulled Esther onto the couch with her and they wound up with their faces inches apart. She was almost sure she didn’t imagine the way Esther’s eyes flicked down to her lips, or the way her breath hitched in her chest, but then Esther pulled away before she could be totally sure of anything. 

“I think so? I mean we haven’t said anything, but I think so.”

“Ada, you like her. Right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And you think she likes you too?”

“Yeah.”

“Got it. One final question,” Richard paused in serious silence, “why the hell haven’t you kissed her?”

The cab pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment and she paid quickly and exited, thankful for the moment of extra thinking time. But then she was there, standing in front of the apartment with no other economic transactions to hide behind. 

“I’m waiting…” Richard not helpfully chimed in.

“I’m scared.”

Richard’s tone softened as he asked “Of what?”

“Richard, you don’t get it. She’s _perfect_. She’s absolutely perfect and I just don’t even know how to deal with that. She’s nice and smart and has been through so much but she never lets any of that show. And she’s such a nerd it’s absolutely adorable and god I just… I can’t ruin this. I can’t not have her in my life.”

Richard silently reflected that Ada sounded like she was in love, but figured he’d let her come to that conclusion on her own when she was ready. “If she’s really all that, she’ll know how great of a catch you are, Ada Clare. And if she doesn’t, though I totally think she does, she doesn’t sound like the kind of person who would cast you out for liking her.”

“Uggghhhhhhhh” Ada gave her best impression of Tina from Bob’s Burgers as she keyed into her building, knowing Richard would understand the reference.

“I’m almost back to the apartment I’m going to have to go soon.”

“Yeah I have group therapy in a few minutes anyway, I should probably go get ready for it. But Ada?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to call you next week, and I expect much more progress on this front. Just shoot your shot. I believe in you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”

Ada walked into the apartment and was sad to find Esther not there, but then she remembered that it was Friday afternoon and she would be with her moms getting ready for kabbalat shabbat. Esther didn’t always go, but since what happened a month ago, she had gone every week to recite kaddish for someone who nobody else would.

\---

Three months previous.

The couple Esther was talking about when talking to Officer Bucket was, of course, her moms. They had done a few shorter term fostering situations over the years, but since Esther graduated they had been travelling more and didn’t want to sacrifice that lifestyle to adopt another child. That, and they were starting to feel too old to raise a young kid. 

When Esther came to them and told them the situation, though, they were completely on board. Esther told them about how her and Jo were in the same position on the same day and how guilty and angry she felt at the injustice that led him to where he was. She also told them about his medical neglect, deafness, and saving Richard’s life at significant personal risk. She was ready to beg them to take him in, but really Esther’s endorsement of him was enough for them and they readily agreed. 

The medical concerns were significant, and Dr. Badik’s professional knowledge ensured she knew exactly what she was getting into. She treated homeless people on occasion, and they faced a different set of difficulties than everyone else. Unfortunately, they were often irreversible by the time they reached her. She could only hope Jo wouldn’t be that way.

The deafness was also a concern, but as a happy coincidence, Ms. Schultz minored in ASL in college and Dr. Badik knew a very basic amount from treating deaf patients. As soon as Esther told them the situation, they both started watching videos and trying to brush up on their skills. Neither was amazing, and they had to fall back to fingerspelling more often than they’d like, but it was a constantly improving skill.

Jo was accompanied to the Schultz-Badik home by Officer Bucket, and the next week was a game of getting to know each other. Esther and Ada came over twice that week, but they tried to give Jo and her moms some time to adjust. 

Outside of the excitement of finding Richard and getting caught and everything that just happened surrounding Jo, the signs of his rough life were beginning to become apparent. His clothes were baggy and skin dirty at the hospital, and he refused to change or wash in the days that followed. After a few days in his new placement, though, Jo finally agreed to a bath and a change of clothes. 

Ms. Schultz took him into the bathroom and showed him where everything was and how to work the tap. She left him with a change of clothes as well that she had picked up from Target on her way home from the studio the other day. She didn’t know his size, so she stuck with elastic waisted sweatpants and a tee shirt. She apologetically told him they would go shopping soon and he could get better clothes. 

When Jo came out of the bathroom, he looked years younger and much more ill than he had initially appeared. He was incredibly thin and pale, and most of his visible skin was covered in bruising. His feet were cut up and a few toes were crooked in a way that said they had been broken and never properly set. 

He looked happier though, and the Schultz-Badiks were hopeful that they could help him recover. He refused to go to the doctor when they suggested it, so they started small. They made him eat three meals a day. Small meals, but still regular and healthy intake. They bought him a toothbrush and other hygiene products, as well as a razor, and gave him instructions on how to use them all. 

Before, it was almost easy to forget how young he was. Now, looking at his thin, pale, baby face, it was impossible to see anything but the 16 year old kid he was. The school year started, but they decided that schooling would be an issue for the future. First step was getting him healthy again, then they could talk about how he wanted to fill his education deficit. 

Once he started to feel less on edge and on guard all the time, Jo lowered some of his boundaries. He was in his room or the bathroom half of the time, and instead of deflecting when they asked him about it, he told them the truth that he was always tired and experienced regular diarrhea. He was embarrassed, but they told him never to be ashamed or feel put out by needing help or not being perfect. After that conversation, he cried for a solid hour. He didn’t let them touch him during that or any of his other episodes, but he did stop pushing them away altogether.

One day, after a month had passed and Jo was still as thin and tired as he had been on day one, maybe even more so, and had been running a fever on and off for most of that time as well, Dr. Badik sat him down to talk to him from her medical perspective.

_Jo, we need to talk about you health._

Jo looked nervous, but also like he expected this conversation was coming, and he nodded in response. 

_I know you don’t want to go to the hospital, but if it’s alright with you I’d like to at least do a physical exam to either rule out, or in, some things, okay? You’re not getting any better, and some of your symptoms are worrying._

_Can we do it here?_ Jo asked, clearly nervous at the prospect of going back to a hospital.

Dr. Badik nodded. _ If that’s what you want, yes. I can even bring in a male doctor if that would be better? I need to do a full physical_

Jo thought for a moment but ultimately shook his head. _Just you._

She was honored by his trust, and the next day brought all of the equipment she would need into the dining nook. She shut and locked all of the doors and closed the blinds, giving him more privacy for when he had to change, and put a clean cloth over the table to provide a sanitary surface for him to sit. 

_I know it’s not the most comfortable, but the lighting is the best in here. Change into this,_ she gestured to a thin cotton hospital gown, _and take off everything underneath. I’ll come back in a few minutes._

When she came back she saw Jo changed and sitting uncomfortably on the edge of the table. 

The exam was clearly uncomfortable for him, but she explained everything she was going to do before she did it and remained entirely professional, and that helped him stay calm. She checked vitals, lung sounds, heart beat, eyes and ears, throat, skin, abdominal tenderness, reflexes, genitals, lymph nodes, and even his head for lice. It was thorough, partly because she didn’t want him to have to do it again soon if she missed something. 

Unfortunately, her hopes were in vain, because she found a few exceedingly worrisome signs. He would definitely need to be taken in for further testing. 

Her worry must have shown on her face, because at the end of it, after she allowed Jo to put his clothes back on, he asked her _It’s bad, isn’t it?_

_I found scarring, unhealed cuts, some broken bones that didn’t heal correctly, and other more or less expected things._

_What else?_

_Purple splotches in and around your nose and eyelids, lymph node swelling in your armpits and groin, genital sores, ongoing weight loss…_ She stopped, looking concerned. _I said I would never lie to you, Jo, and I never will. You need to go to the hospital as soon as possible and have more tests done._

_What do I have?_ He looked strangely calm, almost resigned, and it broke Dr. Badik’s heart.

_There’s no way of knowing for sure until further testing is done, but I’ve seen these symptoms most often in patients with untreated HIV infections. It’s not uncommon in the poor and homeless populations, but if you do have it it has progressed to a worrisome point and you need to start treatment immediately._

And then he asked something that absolutely shattered her. _Will I die?_

She sighed and rubbed her face, and then reminded herself of her promise to be honest with him. _We have no way of knowing how bad it is until we do more tests, but…_ she looked at him for a solid second, _it’s possible. Don’t think it’s inevitable even for a second, but yes, it is a possibility._

Jo agreed to go to the hospital the next morning, and Dr. Badik pulled a few strings to have him bumped to the front of a most lines. By the end of the day, what she feared had come to be reality. Through tests and getting a more detailed medical history, it was determined that Jo was and had been HIV positive for a long time. They couldn’t know where he contracted it, as he didn’t know himself, but with how low his white cell count was and how long he’d reported feeling his symptoms, it was likely in the first years of his life. Maybe even at birth.

As test results rolled in, Dr. Badik was in awe over how Jo managed to stay so strong and put on such a brave face when he was almost literally falling apart. He had been exhausted, losing weight from an already thin frame, developing painful sores in sensitive spots, and that was all on top of the normal exposure to the elements, fights, and other dangers he faced every day. This kid had an indomitable will.

The most heartbreaking test results were from his CD4 and HIV RNA tests. His white blood cells were extraordinarily low, and his viral load was high. In short, he had next to no way to fight the infection, and it was progressing rapidly through his body.

A few weeks after the initial tests and starting treatment, Jo started complaining of shortness of breath and stabbing pain in his chest. When he came down with a fever and cough, the hospital staff grew even more worried. With AIDS one of the biggest risks is the lowered immune system, and if he contracted something else then his body had little to no natural recourse against it. 

He fought pneumonia for another week, delirious with fever and pain, but conscious enough to put up a hell of a fight. Unfortunately, despite everyone’s best efforts, his body just couldn’t take it.

“Esther, you need to come to the hospital.”

Esther answered her phone to hear Ms. Schultz’s voice, and she knew it wasn’t good news.

“Is it Jo?”

“Yes.”

Esther could hear the tears in her mom’s voice, and felt them pop up in hers too. 

“He might not make it through the night. You need to come now.”

When Ada heard Esther say “Fuck” from the other room, she knew something was very very wrong. Esther never cussed.

“We have to go to the hospital,” Esther didn’t hesitate to loop Ada in with her, “my mom said Jo might not make it through the night.”

“Fuck, okay,” now it was Ada’s turn. “I’ll pack us an overnight bag, you call an uber.”

Half an hour later, Esther and Ada were meeting her moms in the hospital lobby, and then being led back to Jo’s room.

Esther hated seeing him so small and sick, and she hated even more that it was entirely preventable. If someone at some point had shown him the care he deserved, they would’ve caught it. They would’ve treated him. He wouldn’t be laying here, hooked up to a million machines, struggling to breathe. 

Jo woke up from a half-conscious state when Esther came into the room, and his eyes widened in panic. He shook his head and tried to move his hands in a quick sign, but the nurse held his right arm down. “You’re going to pull your IV, hang on.” 

The interpreter translated for him, but nobody was really sure if he saw or understood. Either way, the nurse pulled more slack into the line and moved his hands so they were directly in front of his body.

When she stopped touching him, Jo looked at Esther and signed _I don’t want you sick._

“Oh, Jo.” So sweet and caring. Even at the end of his life, he was still more concerned with others than himself. “You have more to worry about from me right now.”

He looked doubtful, so she continued. “I promise you, you are not going to get me sick.”

With a repeated “I promise” for emphasis, he finally nodded and slid back into unconsciousness.

He woke up one more time that night, and it was just long enough to look at the four women in his room and give them a final and heartfelt _thank you._

Jo fell asleep again, and as he sank into the unconscious, everyone watching somehow knew he would never again wake up in this world. 

\---

After Esther’s moms arranged a sparsely attended funeral and ensured he was interred in a decent graveyard, they began to recite the mourner’s kaddish every week. Esther joined them. Ada asked her about it one day, and Esther explained.

“It’s a piece of Jewish mourning. Traditionally it’s only done for your parents, siblings, or children, but we’re not exactly an orthodox family. We’re reciting it for him because nobody else will, and he deserves to be mourned by someone.”

Esther started crying then, and shrugged apologetically at Ada. “I’m sorry, he just didn’t deserve it.”

“I know, Esther. I know.”

It had been a month since Jo’s death, and Esther was in a much better place. She had transitioned from sorrow to anger, and Ada lowkey loved it. She was caught up in the injustice of the system that led to Jo’s death, and when she went on her fiery speeches Ada just sat and looked at her like a goddess.

Ada sat in the living room and threw on something random on the tv while she waited for Esther to get back. When Esther opened the door harshly a couple of hours later, Ada jumped up, worried something was wrong. 

Esther saw that she startled Ada and shouted out a quick “Sorry!” as she dropped her bag on the kitchen counter. 

“What has you all excited?” Ada asked, because Esther was practically vibrating with energy.

Esther spun around and grinned at Ada. “I know what I’m going to study!”

“You declared Sociology and Economics months ago, dear.”

“Well yeah, because I had to pick something and they seemed neat. I mean after undergrad.”

Ada waited, but clearly Esther wanted her to ask. She obliged. “Well, what is it?”

“I’m going to study law. I don’t know if I’ll be a lawyer yet, but I want to learn it. If I can help even one kid trapped in the stupidness of family court or the foster system, I’m going to try my best.”

Esther was alive and excited, but also serious and determined, and all Ada could think about were Richard’s words from earlier. _Why the hell haven’t you kissed her?_

And standing there in that kitchen, with the woman she had come to love in front of her, she really couldn’t think of a reason. 

So she kissed her. 

Ada closed the gap between her and Esther in two quick steps, and without warning she pulled Esther’s head down into a kiss. It was short and quick, and when she pulled back Esther blinked in open-mouthed confusion.

“Why?”

Ada snorted in laughter. “Because I like you, you big dolt. And I’ve wanted to do that since the first week I met you.”

Esther knew she didn’t deserve it-- Ada’s affection. She knew it like she knew she needed oxygen to breathe. In her mind nobody deserved something so pure and wonderful, but for once in her life she decided that maybe, just maybe, it was okay for her to be a bit selfish.

So she kissed her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this as a sort of epilogue, wrapping it up. Will be posted on or around Christmas.


	10. Epilogue: Happily Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue of cuteness.

Ada and Esther had come a long way in the three years since that first kiss. Ada was in her second year at NYU and Esther was in her first year of law school, also at NYU. To the surprise of no one but Esther, her LSATs were great and her application strong, so she was a shoe in for NYU’s school. 

They had also long since stopped talking in terms of individual future plans, and everyone around them knew it was a question of when, not if, one of them was going to propose. Of course, in all of this adulting and life altering, some things didn’t change at all. 

In this case, that something would be their status as introverted nerds. Every week they would have a date night in, and at least once a month that date night would be doing a puzzle while drinking wine and listening to a podcast or audiobook. Sometimes, if it were a particularly cool puzzle, they would slap on an adhesive sheet and keep it. They even had a couple of them framed.

This date night was different than all of the others for two reasons. First, because it was Christmas Eve, and the third night of Chanukah. Seconc, because Ada was going to propose. She knew Esther would never do it, not because she didn’t love her the same amount or want to spend their lives together, but because she still doubted herself and liked to think she didn’t deserve Ada. Which Ada thought was absolute shit, and frequently told her so.

Ada had been agonizing for months over how to do a perfect proposal. Did she do it with family and friends? At a baseball game on a jumbotron? In a museum? At the end of a cool scavenger hunt? She kept seeing videos of other people’s proposals and getting worried that hers wasn’t going to be good enough.

And then there was the question of what she would do it with. She looked around at rings and ring boxes, and there were a few that she thought Esther would really like, but at the end of the day she wanted Esther to have the ring of her dreams, which meant she should pick it herself. Ada also had this mental image of her and Esther going ring shopping together, and she quite liked it. 

What she ended up with, and what she just finished explaining to Esther’s moms, was proposing with a custom puzzle and a ring pop during their planned Christmas Eve date night in.

They both laughed, but seemed to approve. 

Ms. Schultz asked the first question. “Do you have a picture of the puzzle?”

“I have the design, yeah. Hang on.” Ada fished her phone out of her pocket, unlocked it, and pulled up the design. It was a picture of her and Esther in the background and a cursive font “How about forever?” across the bottom.

Dr. Badik took the phone from her and looked at it for a long moment before handing it back to Ada and dabbing her eyes. “Ugh, I’m sorry. My baby is getting married. She’s all grown up.”

“And she says I’m the emotional one,” Ms. Schultz said with an eye roll and leaned over to give her wife a quick kiss.

“You like it then?” Ada fidgeted with her pop socket, looking at the two women across the table from her nervously. “You think she’ll like it?”

“Ada, sweetheart, I think you could write will you marry me on a piece of trash from the street and she would think it was the most beautiful thing in existence. She loves you.”

“So…” Ada paused, smiling, “that’s a yes?”

“Oh my god, you two are so alike.” Dr. Badik snorted out a laugh before continuing. “Yes, I think she will like it.”

“So do I,” Ms. Schultz chimed in, “but what’s this about a ring pop?”

“Oh, that,” Ada waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “I want her to be able to pick what she wants, and I think she couldn’t care less what I actually use for the proposal. So I’m using a blue ring pop.”

“It’s certainly creative.”

Ms. Schultz’s voice was slightly hesitant, but Dr. Badik continued for her. “And you’re right, you could have a ten thousand dollar ring or a 25 cent ring from a gumball machine, but what matters is that you’re giving it to her. I think it’s cute.”

Ada spent another half hour with them just talking and catching up, but soon it was time for her to head back to the apartment and set up for the date night proposal. She carefully laid out the puzzle face down, brought over two wine glasses and a bottle in a chiller, and grabbed a few snack bags. She was cutting up apples when Esther walked in the door.

“Hello my love,” Esther beamed when she saw Ada, and Ada smiled just as widely back. “How was your day? What’d you do?”

“Oh you know, this and that. I went to the store for some last minute Christmas shopping, gossipped with your moms for an hour, finished a paper that was due three days ago, oops, loved you so much my heart almost exploded, messaged you about fifty memes… You know, the usual.”

Esther had reached her by then and gave her a quick kiss before quirking a brow. “Gossipped with my moms? That sounds dangerous.”

Ada popped an apple slice into Esther’s mouth, and Esther dropped her keys and the mail on the counter.

“No more dangerous than our usual gossip sessions.”

“Exactly,” Esther spoke around her apple, “you always gossip about me. Very dangerous.”

“Oh, hush. Here,” Ada handed Esther the plate of apples, “go put that in the living room while I clean up.”

Esther readily complied, and Ada rinsed off the knife and the cutting board. 

“Why are all the puzzle pieces face down?”

Heart hammering, Ada tried to play it cool and stick to the script she prepped. “They make these mystery puzzles where you don’t know what it is until you squirt it with water after and I wanted to try it, but those are expensive, so I made our own. Holiday themed, don’t worry.”

“Low budget date night in, I like it.” Esther seemed to by her explanation, and settled herself down onto her designated floor pillow. “Let’s get started though, I want to see what it is.”

An hour later they were down to the last five pieces, and Ada’s heart was going a mile a minute. When they reached the very last piece and Esther slid it in place, she somehow remembered how to work her mouth and legs, said “Let me go grab the glue sheet,” and walked into the kitchen. 

Returning with a sheet in hand and a ring pop surreptitiously slipped into her pocket, she handed it to Esther and stood behind her while Esther smoothed it over the pieces. Once done, Esther rubbed her hands together in excitement and asked “Ready?”

“Ready.” And Ada was. Mostly. Probably. 

Esther flipped the puzzle over in one practiced motion, and stared at it in confusion once she did. “Ada, what--?”

Esther stopped talking immediately, because she had turned around and was now face to face with Ada, who was on one knee before her.

“Esther, I love you, and I have for what feels like my entire life. You’re my person. You get me like no one else. You’re kind, and sweet, and so perfect it makes me feel wholly inadequate to be anywhere near you sometimes.”

Ada unwrapped the Ring Pop and held it in front of her so Esther could see, and honestly it was a testament to Esther’s Ada tunnel vision that she didn’t even process Ada was holding children’s candy.

“I debated a million ways to do this, to ask you to be my wife, and I doubted every way I thought of. Ultimately I decided to do it with just the two of us in our favorite place.”

Esther was crying, and she wetly and jokingly asked “next to the couch?”

Ada laughed and shook her head. “No, silly. In a room with just the two of us.It’s always okay when we’re together”

“The point is, over the past three years together I’ve doubted myself a million times. I mean, you know me. Ask me to pick a movie for movie night and I’m an absolute mess.”

Esther smiled and nodded in agreement.

“But when I think about us, when I think about you, I’ve never been so sure of anything. So,” Ada reached out and took Esther’s hand, “Esther Summerson, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

By now Esther was fully crying, and she shook her head at Ada in amazement. “You want to marry me?”

The unspoken “Why?” hung in the air, and Ada decided to nip that in the bud. “Yes, I do, you silly, silly woman. Now please don’t leave me hanging here.”

Esther nodded. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Ada logically knew the response going into the proposal, else she wouldn’t have made it, but hearing the woman of her dreams actually say yes did a number on her heart. It was real, and good, and made her so, so happy.

“Yes,” Esther repeated, and Ada jumped up to hit her with a searing kiss. 

After taking some time to revel in the event, Ada sheepishly asked Esther if she could make the social media posts. Esther wasn’t as big into social media, but she knew Ada found it enjoyable, so she readily agreed and helped get the required pictures. 

It was ten minutes after they made the post that Esther realized they might’ve made an error in judgement. “Wait, we posted that before we told our families. Oh my moms are going to kill me if they find out through Facebook.” 

“Your moms already know, love, though I guess we should send them an official update.”

Esther’s brow crinkled in confusion, “They already know?”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I went to see them earlier. What do you think we were talking about?”

Esther sputtered. “Wait how many people knew this was happening tonight?”

Ada brought up her finger and started ticking names off. “Let’s see… your mom, your other mom, Mr. Jarndyce, Richard, my therapist, the professor I just turned that paper in late to (she says congrats, by the way), like all of my past ten uber drivers… You know, the usual suspects.”

“So do we need to call anyone right now?”

“Always the one concerned with social etiquette,” Ada reached across Esther on the couch to grab her phone. “I’ll call Jarndyce and you call your moms, just to make the official announcement. Will that make you feel better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Each young woman did just that, and they reconvened after the calls ended. 

“My moms were ecstatic, obviously,” Esther tossed her phone onto the couch and laid with her head in Ada’s lap. 

“So were Mr. Jarndyce and Richard.”

“Oh are they together? That’s nice.”

“Yeah, and I agree.” Since Richard had returned from the Bagnets, he had been rebuilding his life, including his relationship with Mr. Jarndyce. He relapsed once, which was an ugly and trying time for the entire family, but they all stayed with him and he pulled through once more. Right now he was home for Christmas, and by all accounts it was a pleasant holiday in the Jarndyce home. 

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Ada poked Esther’s cheek with her forefinger, “we need to go light the candles, remember?”

Esther got up without too much groaning, and cheerfully made her way to the window once she was standing. Ada brought over a box of candles and a lighter.

“You play the shamash tonight,” Esther said to Ada, and Ada smiled at being included.

“As long as you sing. You know I still don’t know a lot of them.”

Ada had been taking an Introduction to Judaism course and doing a lot of reading and watching to try and learn more about Esther’s family and cultural upbringing, but Judaism was a very involved and complicated thing. She was looking forward to learning more, but it wouldn’t happen overnight. 

“Of course.”

Ada lit the shamash first and set the lighter to the side, then set about lighting three candles. Esther sang “Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotaz v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Chanukah.”

As her voice washed over Ada, and the light from the candles flickered across her face, Ada just stopped and reflected on how much she loved this woman in front of her, and how much she couldn’t wait for forever.


End file.
